My Mantra

July 10, 2011
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I’ll admit it. It’s slightly embarrassing, but I’ll admit it. I have a mantra. No, this doesn’t mean I’m a crazy, chanting, incense burning, bra-less hippie. It also doesn’t make me a yogi, though I won’t deny doing the occasional pilates DVD. I’m definitely not a Buddhist, a cast member of the Karate Kid, or insane (I hope). I’m just a 15 year old girl, navigating through girlhood (and boyhood, I guess) while every so often repeating a statement to calm myself down, rev myself up, or just remind myself that it doesn’t really matter.

It was a part of my New Year New Me schpiel. I stumbled upon an article in Glamour while flipping through one of many old magazines cluttered in my room. It reminded me that the best part of being a chick is having drive. And that with it, we should stop trying to please everybody else, stop trying to play a role, and finally get around to answering that quintessential question; what do I want? And even if we don’t know the answer, it’s time to start figuring out what we want right now.

We girls, we beautiful, powerful, fearless, unstoppable girls, need to quit being afraid of being too smart, too strong, too tough, and trying to squeeze into the mold that parents, teachers, boys, society, and worst of all, other girls try to put us into. We need to learn to do something they’re not too eager to teach us to do; grab ahold of all that strength within us with two fists, and use it to do something amazing. Use it to do something that we want right now, whether it’s silly or important. To quote Taking Woodstock, “perspective shuts out the love”. To me, it not only shuts out the love, but extinguishes the fires of the dreamers, and kills the passion.

This year, I’ve decided to harness my power, to own my strength, To be completely who I am, at that moment at least, or at the very minimum who I want to be, and to be unapologetic for it. I’ve decided to truly love myself, before I can expect of want anyone to love me, to let my love for myself to be enough. I am a beautiful, powerful, fearless, unstoppable young woman. If I want to play rugby and wear lipstick, learn to skateboard and dye my hair, wear fishnets and play the ukulele, I will, and I’m not saying sorry to Mom, Dad, Father so and so, Mrs. Whatshername, or a single boy for it. I want to be different, look different, dress different, take risks and take the dare that I wish so many other young women, all equally as beautiful, fearless, powerful, and unstoppable as me would take; to chase after what I want for myself. To be the only person who truly matters for once, and for the stamp of approval to be inked by my own hand. Love, is never having to say I’m sorry.

I am a powerful, beautiful, fearless, unstoppable woman. Corny? Maybe, but it does the job. This year I pledge to stay 100% Kailyn Michelle Gaines; if that means some days I’ll pig out at IHOP and others only eat fruit, do crazy makeup and go barefaced, rock out to folk or cry to reggae, tease my hair or braid it, go out, stay in, tackle the girls and kiss the boys. I am a fearless, unstoppable, beautiful and powerful girl, who will not be told who to be.

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