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The Thinkers and the Lovers - A speculation

I think there is something wrong with my brain. Or maybe I just think to much. Everybody knows what a fifteen year old girl is supposed to act like. Some adults approach me in fear as is I am going to burst out crying, or curse them out on their deepest insecurities like a b****y blonde cheerleader. But they only find a brainy and collected party pooper. So, why can't I be some emotionally charged stereotypical teenager yearning for love and all of its consequences?

It's because of the teenage girl spectrum. A space time continuum. We all know one side, the love infected teen girl with mood swings that make menopause seem calm cool and collected. But what of me?

Example, a couple weeks ago a guy asked me out. Let's call him Jared. He's a good guy right, sure a little shorter than me but who cares? He's perfectly good looking. I mean logically I know I am not that into him, and I would only date him for 3 weeks tops out of pity only to break his poor little new to love heart. But who cares, just make out and hold hands awkwardly like a normal teenage girl, right? Nope, not this girl. My stupid brain knew that it would only end in some middle school esc breakup. God, I can't even live.

I mean I've gotten to the point where my mother is worried about my boyfriendness (or lack there of). My own mother! I mean sure, she hasn't said that to me, but it's all over her face. It's like she's just waiting for some voodoo magic to suddenly turn her normal daughter into a moody love monster s*** overnight. But it hasn't happened. I'm still Chelsi, thank goodness.

Maybe it's good that I’m like this. Yes, I went my whole freshman year with out dating someone, but that only shows I am an independent young women. I do not need some guy to tell me he loves me to feel loved! I mean it's not like I'm anti-social, I have a great set of friends. I'm very mature to just wait for the right guy...

Or maybe that's immature? Thinking I need to wait for "Mr. Right" at fifteen? What a silly notion. I should be testing the waters! I mean when I was contemplating Jared's offer after he sprinted to his car, as I opened the note he gave that read, "Will you go out with me?", my girlfriend said to me, "Ah just say yes. Try it out for a week. Live a little!". Was she right? Am I just a coward, and all the other teenage girls are just being normal?

I swear I am more put together than this. I am still a brainy, cowardly, boyfriendless girl. The other side of the spectrum. The thinker not the lover.





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