Perfect Enough

July 25, 2011
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I fell asleep listening to the sound of a calming heart beat. The soft “thump, thump, thump” relaxes me, and because I know it’s his, I become relaxed enough to drift away. Only asleep for a few minutes, I wake up and open my weary eyes. I could feel his chilled hand in mine; my head resting on his chest. A movie was still playing on the TV across from the bed. The background noise was nice, but I continued to listen to the rhythm of Alex’s heart beating; it’s my symphony.

His kind words are a melody that sings to my heart. Whenever he walks into the room, the rest of the world stops and my eyes focus entirely on him. His arms become my shelter when it feels as though the world is on my shoulders. There’s nothing else that seems to matter when he’s around, all of my cares and fears fade away with one single touch. When I think of him, I know I am the luckiest girl in the world; he’s my crying shoulder, my star, and my hero.

Even though I make it sound like it, Alex isn’t perfect, but he is perfect enough. He’s perfect enough to hold my heart and be the center of my universe. My heart, like many others, have been bent and beaten; scratched and scarred. Before I bet Alex, I was physically and emotionally abused by four different guys in my life. I was treated so wrongfully that I lost all of my trust in men. I became afraid to get into any relationships, then, one day in May, Alex texted me. We knew each other for a couple of years beforehand but we hadn’t talked much until now. He lived in Mora, and I lived in Cambridge, but he was determined to see me, no matter the distance. Then on June 28th, the day we began dating, Alex drove to my house and spent the day with me. We’ve seen each other every weekend since then.

He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect enough. He can get irritating; he knows how to get under my skin, and he can be annoying, like people sometimes can. He can sometimes frustrate me and make me mad, but I still love him anyway. Like every couple, we sometimes argue and bicker.

“It says in the Bible that swearing is a sin.” Alex says. I roll my eyes and think of a comeback.

`“No, it’s not specific enough.” I say to him with a snicker.

“Not specific enough? How specific does it have to be? It’s the Bible; it doesn’t have to be specific.” He snaps back at me. I sigh to myself.

“Alex, it’s an opinion. Words that were swears back then may not be considered to be swears now, and words that you think are swears might not be bad enough to be a swear to me. So, it’s not specific enough.” I say to him in a smart aleck tone. He groans on the other end of the phone line, and I am left to assume that he has given up.

Arguments like that are nothing in comparison to all of the amazing moments filled with joy and love that we share. A kiss under booming flashes of state fair fireworks, dancing sweetly together in full silence, going to the lake on a warm summer day; all of those moments and more became the reason why we fell in love so easily. He makes me feel free and safe. He protects me, he loves me, and he holds my heart.

“Baby, you’re my forever, right?” Alex asks as he looks at me with his hazel eyes. I smile and kiss him lightly as I run my fingers through his jet-black hair. I look up at him and gaze into his eyes; straight to his heart.
“Of course.”

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