Its a funny thing how abuse happens to you. It starts out so slow you don't even realize its happening to you until your right in the middle of it. Sort of like how you never know how a dream starts. All of the sudden your just stuck in the middle of a nightmare with no way out. For me it started off slowly with just a yell here or a whop on the head there. Then it progressed into screaming and name calling several times a week. Things like you are a lazy piece of crap, your a stupid b----. After that when we would get into yelling matches it would progress to pinning against doors and whops on the head. Things would be quiet but would always get worse. But then, thats the most silent abuse. When they keep you in check by fear of the next attack. When they rule your life by the bat of an eyelash and you know that at any moment there could be an outburst of fear and of pain. This kind of abuse, the kind I went through, happens more often than you'd think. After so long of suffering a person can loose touch with nearly all their emotion. Slowly but surely they can learn to feel again but it will always feel artifical to them after the experiences they had and after loosing them completely. The emotions are faded versions of what used to be there. I got out because I came to my friends for help, numerous times since the police wouldn't listen. My dad, unlike most, finally saw what he was doing to me and changed. We have been doing good for almost a year now. But so many others don't have that good fortune. Do unto others as others have done unto me: help them out, even if you don't think its abuse. Because even if it is just yelling, tomorrow, it could be a lot worse.
The Most Silent Abuse
July 13, 2011