losing control, in the best possible way.

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The most complicated adventure is a relationship. The connection we share with another human will forever and eternity baffle all people, doctors, psychologists, therapists, best friends, mothers, the only two people who will ever gain some form of understanding of the relationship is the two people involved.
We will spend a life time looking for that a person that makes our dreams come true and completes us, and then when we find them spend the rest of our time trying to figure out the relationship. We will gain an entire collection of profound and mature wisdom on the subject, however when you fall in love all that brilliant and profound logic goes straight out of the window, and you lose all control.
You lose control of your smile, you lose control of the butterflies in your stomach, you lose control of your thoughts as they slowly take over your mind, you lose control of your hands as they shake with anticipation of that first touch, that first embrace and that first kiss. But the biggest thing of all is that you lose complete control of the heart.
The heart is one of few muscles in our bodies that we have no control over. We do not control when it skips a beat, when it races so fast you think it will burst through your chest, when it aches, when it breaks into a thousand pieces or when it makes you feel the happiest you have ever been.
By now you have probably guessed that I am falling in love, and you would be right. I have had some very bad and tortured relationships in the past. I have been cheated on, with my best friend, used, pushed around, manipulated and hurt. I spent months in ‘emotional rehab’. It’s made me cautious, careful and a little bit scared. I have learnt from it and gained some of the much sought after ‘profound logic’, but as its human nature, when he came into my life I could not stop myself falling into love.
I have found myself smiling uncontrollably when I wake up to a text reading “good morning beautiful” and falling asleep with the same goofy smile. The butterflies have taken over my stomach every time he says “I love you”. The thought of him has taken over my mind. Goosebumps have taken over my whole body at the thought of every kiss. And he has completely taken over my heart.
There is nothing we can do to stop ourselves falling in love, so here is my advice, just go with it. Enjoy every second because you do not know what will happen next, make the most of all the time you have with them and every opportunity that they present you with. And most importantly, tell them everyday just how much you do love them.
Stay tuned for my next piece.





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Sam Absolon said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 5:38 pm
this was amazing! it actually made me cry! <3 thank you Jessie :') i love you x
 
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