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Do You Trust Me?

"Well it's obvious you don't trust me, anyway."

This was part of a conversation I was having with my boyfriend, Lake. It all started when rumors started swirling that he was cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. At first, I ignored it. But as more rumors started swirling, and he became more defensive of her and his previous relationship with her, I began to wonder about it. So I decided to investigate. Within my investigations, I figured out that he had been talking to Aubrey more and more. When I asked him, he said that he talked to her a lot on the bus and that he had been becoming closer to her. He said he had even come up with a nickname for her, but he also declared that they were just friends and cheating is bad and he would never do that. So I believed him, but rumors continued to swirl. So when I found out (totally by accident) that he had been telling Aubrey my secrets, and that he had become closer with her, I got really upset. I immediately called him and told him he needed to tell me the truth. After explaining it to him, I stated that I would like an explanation of my own. He got really nervous, and he waited a minute or so before answering. Eventually, said "Well I dont talk to Aubrey at all. We might say 'hi' once in a while, but even that is rare and hasn't happened in a while." This made me mad, because he had previously stated that him and Aubrey had been talking lately. My reply was simple: "My friends and a few other people told me that you're cheating on me with Aubrey." He yelled into the phone,"You're friends actually TOLD you that?" and promptly hung up the phone. This lead me to believe that the rumors were true, and was basically a confirmation for me. Well, I started crying and called a friend, Felicia. She said that he was a jerk, and I had to laugh. Well a little while later I called him back, because I needed to ask him about some other things and we hadn't broken up or anything yet. So I called his cell phone, which was answered by his little brother, Nick. "Nick," I asked, trying to stay calm, "Is your brother around? I know he doesnt want to talk to me, but he needs to." Nick asked me to hang on, and I heard shuffling, as he went to find Lake. After a moment, I heard their mom. "Who is that? Is it Kellie?" Nick didnt know what was going on, so he replied "Yeah." Then, to Lake he said,"She said she knows you dont wanna talk to her but you need to." To which I heard his mom reply,"Well, not on that phone. She can call him on the house phone." This made me mad, because I knew that he was upset at me, but I hadnt done anything! So I decided if he was going to be a jerk about it, and get his mommy involved, then what was the point of me trying? So I hung up and called Felicia back. I told her everything, only this time instead of crying I was yelling! This made me very angry. So after talking to Felicia for about a half hour, my phone beeped saying i had another call coming in. I glanced at the number, and it was Lake. So I answered it, but not with the usual, cordial 'hello'. I instead answered with "What do you want now." He told me that he didnt mean to get his mom involved, and what had I needed? I asked him why he hung up and he said "I was frustrated. I can't believe your friends told you that." I didnt hesitate before asking,"So, it's true?" To which he replied, after taking a few moments to think, "NO! why would you think that?" Well he knew full well why i thought that, and i knew it. So i just let the question hang there. After a while, he said,"Do you honestly believe your friends over me? Are they really more important than me?" And I knew the answer to that question, without even thinking about it. "Yeah," I replied confidently," they are." I knew he hated to hear it, but he also knew that it was the truth, and he needed to hear my truth. Both of us lying isn't going to help us get anywhere. This made him mad. I knew he was going to be, but i was completely unprepared for what he threw at me next,"Why are they more important than me?" I froze. Had he really just asked me that? Reasons began listing themselves in my head. I replied,"Because you aren't exactly the most honest person, and i've known my friends and been friends with them a lot longer than i've known you or been dating you." I knew that was all he needed, though i could've come out with the whole list that was flashing through my head. There was another long silence, but this one was excruciating. Eventually, Lake asked,"Do you trust me at all?" "Well," I replied, carefully choosing my words," I do. But you also have to remember that you lied to me four times. I cant just forget about that" I think the only thing that kept me going here was knowing that my guard was up and no matter how bad he hurt me I wouldn't let him know. For once, my mind was stronger than i felt. I wanted to break down and cry, but i wouldn't. Not now. He was upset, i could tell. He was also angry, and what he said next was also something i hadn't been prepared for. He told me,"Well it's obvious you don't trust me at all." I didnt say anything. Eventually though, he becam too angry to contain it. "I'm done with you! If you can't trust me then i dont ever want to see you again," he yelled into my ear, where it went right through me. I was in shock. "And," He wasn't done,"don't ever ask me back again!" Now, i was mad. "Why would i want to," I asked, then hung up the phone. Everything that happened that night still burns in the back of my mind. It's been two days, and he's called me many things, his famiy has called me many things, and we're still fighting. His sister, Stephanie and I swapped words over Facebook.



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Kell_Bell13 said...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 5:06 pm:
TEST COMMENT *I am new to TeenInk... trying to figure out the website!(:*
 
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