I have talked about my dad's accident for six years now. It has caused many problems for me that I hardly ever talk about, I'm surprised that I am even writing this. Everyone for he past years has said that my problems have been because of my dad's accident, but what if they're wrong? What if it has something to do with me? I never talk to anyone about anything and I think that it caused everything to build to this hell of my life. This accident has caused me to have this major phobia of high ceilings. I can't even walk into a gym or my own church! I use to be on a basketball team in North Carolina but I quit it because of this. Most of my friends know about this, however don't ask my friend Jeanna about it she'll say that I'm allergic to them. That always makes me laugh. Yeah well from everything building up it has made me have this anxiety problem. It is so bad that I can't even go to school sometimes. That's because all my anxiety revolves around school. I get really anxious just thinking about it. None of my friends know about this however. I just don't think they'll understand and I don't want them looking at me like I'm a freak or anything. I have missed a lot of school because of this. My friends sometimes get mad at me for missing so much school but I can't help it. That's not even the worse part of all this. The worst part is all the stress I put on my parents. They try to understand so hard but they just don't know what to do when I'm having such a bad day that I don't want to go to school. I hate it. I'm trying to work through it but it is very hard especially since I'm trying to do it on my own. There is this song I like "Unbound" by Avenged Sevenfold. One of the lines says " This ride that takes me through like leads me into darkness and emerges into light." Well the line for my life is more this, "This ride that takes me through life takes me into darkness..." I'm still waiting for the light part. This brings me to another saying, " There's a light at the end of every tunnel" well either there is no light for me.... or this is one long tunnel.
After the Accident
May 25, 2011