Happiness may come naturally to some people, but it doesn’t work that way for me. I have a good life, and people who love me. So why couldn’t I be happy?

Two words: genetic depression. Most of my family has had depression. Mine started to flare up in 5th grade when my grandmother died. And it only got worse.

Last year especially was a disaster. I was crying all the time and even cutting myself. It seemed like I would never be happy. I had regular thoughts of suicide and I pushed everybody away. I was careless and reckless, and I basically destroyed my relationships with the people I loved.

But over the past year, I’ve improved a lot. My mom found a wonderful therapist, who helped me get closure on some traumatic experiences from my childhood. She made me realize I can’t control some of the difficult situations in my life, but I can control how I react to them. Realizing who cared about me also helped me get through those tough times.

Some people don’t realize depression can be a problem for kids. It’s hard to be one of the victims of depression, but the only way to get over it is to find what makes you happy.

My life picked up when I stopped hanging out with people who brought me down. I realized I could make myself happy by controlling my own actions and not letting negative people influence me. I started wearing the clothes I liked. I hadn’t worn them in a long time because I thought people would judge me. I started listening to the music I liked. I was even singing and laughing more. When I learned to focus on what I liked in life I became happy.

It isn’t easy. Even with therapy and medications for depression, it took months to stop cutting myself and feel like I was ready to live again. But the thing that helped me the most was learning how to recognize the good things in my life. Some of those good things are my boyfriend, Gus, my best friends, my family, my ukulele, and my art.

I also realized I needed to find a balance for my emotions. Achieving balance between sadness and happiness has been a struggle, but it’s important. I learned to find love on the other side of heartbreak. And I found happiness on the other side of sadness. For example, I let myself be upset about those friends I let go, but then I moved on. I learned to focus on the wonderful friends I still had. I learned to let myself experience the sad emotionProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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2C but to make sure I felt the happy ones as well.

Being happy has improved my health and made me a better person. I believe if everyone found happiness there would be a chain reaction. The whole world would be better off.

I believe in finding happiness.