You Endure Forever

May 23, 2011
By
About 80% of women are dissatisfied with their figure. However, men suffer too from eating disorders. Although eating disorders seem so disgusting and surreal they are a major problem existing. I can guarantee you that over half of you in the audience are thinking to yourself that this is true and may suffer from a disorder or a similar disorder. I am here to tell you that I was a victim of both bulimia and anorexia. Now I know its’ hard to believe but yes, I was that girl who didn’t eat for three days at a time and knew the toilet as her best friend.
Health has always been a huge concern of my mom & dad, but as some of you may know more so my mom. If you walk into our kithen and you open our pantry or fridge all you see is REDUCED FAT EVERYTHING, BAKED CHIPS, LOW SODIUM CRACKERS and so on. The best is the note on the peanut butter with the tablespoon measuring cup lying on top of the jar, “This 1 tablespoon of peanut butter has 95 calories and 8 grams of fat. Look at how small it is and how fattening 1 tbsp is!”.
My grandma is highly overweight and my mom on the other hand was pretty anorexic herself in college. I know that she is just trying to watch over me and make sure that I am healthy and don’t turn out like my grandma or her but with her constantly staring at every bite I eat and commenting on how I should loose five pounds in a week obviously got to me. In the fall I was very stressed out because it was junior year, a.k.a the hardest year in your high school career. The more stress I have the more I eat. I was not working out as much because volleyball had just ended so I did not really feel great in any which way. I decided that I’m already eating a ton and I’ll eat more to piss of my parents because they hate it when I eat and then I could get rid of it all. However, throwing up at school wouldn’t work so I just started to starve myself and it felt sickly great to feel the want for actual food. I wish I had kept a journal about it back then because it definitely affected my mood and personality, but all I can remember besides the beginning was the end. I don’t know how it came out but I was on the phone with my boyfriend late one night and I broke down and told him. I realized that by hurting yourself you’re in turn hurting loved ones even more and no part of it was ever worth it.
Although I’m not proud to admit it I think it has helped me grow tremendously and become who I am today. We all have problems and are more similar to each and every person in this auditorium than we would ever think possible. So stop being so judgmental and rather be a listener instead of a judger we would get a lot farther in life, that’s for certain. There are three beneficial reasons for why I am doing this.
Number one I hope that you do learn to be unconditionally accepting. You kids out there in the audience who may “boooo” speakers or make rude comments to speakers, you know who you are, would you really do that if it was just you and the reader in the entire auditorium? I don’t think so. In comparison, although not obvious each and every person is on the same level. Don’t judge because I know that you have or have had been in their situation before.
The second reason why I have told you my story is because I want you to know that there is always a light at the end of every dark tunnel no madder how bad it may seem. If you can not think of a single person out there that loves you, know that I do. I know that this may seem strange to some of you and freshman don’t get any ideas about getting a turnabout date because there is no one else, but there is always something that is good in people even though it may take time to find it.
Lastly, I know you may think I am being a hypocrite for preaching this but I am telling you that by this eye opening disorder I had it made me realize that you should never hurt yourself to feel better about yourself. Open your eyes and think before you act. We in theory have life a lot easier than a good amount of people. If you have an eating disorder like I did, think before shoving your finger down your throat of how many people would kill to have that food leaving your mouth. Working with kids with special needs I have realized too that we should be lucky to be able to be alive and functioning in every way and we should never harm that ability.
We fully able beings should be grateful and thankful. What I have learned is to truly be thankful for what you have and open up your eyes and heart before you think of making a move that could hurt many people physically or emotionally. Nothing harmful to you or anyone else is ever worth it, there is always an out, believe me. I would be willing to do anything to prove this to each and every one of you.





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WritingQueen101 said...
Jun. 9, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Good point...I agree with you.
 
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