Last time

May 18, 2011
By Anonymous

I couldn't remember the last time i felt like this.
Just one more hit i thought.
Just one, that's all i needed and then i would stop.
Once the needle was in my vein and i forced the fluid in, i lied down thinking wow, this is just what i needed.
That was the last time i did it. My uncle caught me high that night, it was four in the morning, i thought he was asleep, he saw me on the floor crying.
This is how it always got, i would end up on the floor crying, everytime, crying.
The rubber band still tightly noosed around my arm, needle on the bed.
My uncle has caught me smoking weed before, but not this.
The last time, i told him.
I wouldn't feel like this anymore. He stayed up with me till the high ended.
He asked me why, i couldn't give him an answer, all i could do was say sorry.
The last time i told him, i swear its the last time.

That was a year ago, even today i look back on my drug days and think, wow i really did do everything it took to get my next high. What was i thinking? I wasn't that's what my problem was. I had and still have an anger problem, i thought the drugs would help, but i knew it didn't, yet i still used. As of this moment, I'm 3 months sober, the last thing i did was weed, the kush building in my lungs, i can still feel it sometimes. I find it funny that i remember everything, and have no desire for it at all. I can finally look back and say to myself that its all over. I wont go back, that will never be me again.

I did rehab a total of 12 time in the past 5 years, i was 11 when i went to rehab for the first tI'me. I thought i would never go back. I have my uncle to thank for, he got me out everytime, and he was there waiting up all night everytime with me. We're closer now than ever before. I'm 16 now, and I'm sober, I'm currently helping my boyfriend go through withdrawal. I can finally say that Ive been there and never going back. I will keep helping people with addiction, i find it a new high to help people. :)

The author's comments:
As my life goes on, and as long as i can keep helping people with addiction, i find it easier to let go of my drug days. I hope that people who are in the same situation i was in, can see that there is always a way out, with the right help, and love.

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