May 13, 2011
By Sorla_the_Space_Cowboy GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
Sorla_the_Space_Cowboy GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
19 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.” - Clint Eastwood
"I never lie. I believe everything I say, so it's not a lie." - Mark Wahlberg
"I just want to be pure"- Jim Carroll

It was midmorning, the sky was blue, the streets busy, and the air filled with the lovely smells from the bakery to my left. I sat on a park bench, reading a book, ignoring them manic movement around me. “Hey Lulu, what are ya readin?” The voice regrettably dragged me from my own world and when I put the book down, I saw a boy standing in front of me. His hair looked like it had recently been chopped off, it was uneven and a dark chestnut. His eyes wide, were the same hue as his hair, and his thin frame was vibrating with excitement. “Hello, Billy.” I replied, not really wanting to very much get involved. He sat down without invitation and stared at me, a dopey grin forming across his face. “Wrinkle in Time?” He asked.
“You like it?”
“Yeah, it’s unusual…”
“No, you like readin?”
“yes, don’t you?” He shook his head, still with his dopey grin .
“I like talkin.” Right that’s why I dislike him. It’s not even like I dislike him either, he is just a perfect metaphor to a puppy. His unkempt hair, smile, and bubbly personality add to the image. I feel I should be playing catch with him rather then humoring him. “So ain’t ya supposed to be in school?”
“No, are you?” He shrugged.
“How the hell should I know?”
“I think you would,” I told him, refraining from rolling my eyes.
“Well I don’t like it, everyone’s so, I don’t know… mean.”
“Really?” I think I know why.
“Wanna go for a walk?”
“No.” But he smiles and tugs on my arm like a hungry child. His face is bright and happy while his eyes are pleading. I get up and allow him to lead me down the street. “How do ya feel ‘bout Mexico?” He asks me.
“It’s warm, I’m guessin a lot more open.”
“I wanna move there.” He says, glancing at the sun peeking feebly through a blanket of clouds.
“I don’t know, it seems different.”
“It is.”
“that’s cool.” Yeah. He is silent for another minute and allows me to pull him closer to the common. “Ever let anyone down?” He asks me, lower then a whisper.
“And your ok with that?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”
“I would. What about the people you hurt?”
“Their fault for trusting me in the first place.”
“I wish I was as smart as you.” Instead of accepting the compliment, ‘cause I’m not so good at that, I told him I wasn’t to smart, I just had a different mindset. “What do ya mean?” I don’t know what I mean, I finally realized. And this is just a conversation with Billy. “I don’t think about other people, they don’t interest me.”
“Oh. Well I saw Mac today, and he got this black eye. And he said you just went crazy and punched him. He said you just belted him right in the eye. Is it cause of your mindset? Is that why ya gave him the black eye?”
“Mac’s talkin s*** again. I didn’t just go crazy and belt him in his dam face. He kept flickin that stupid cigarette at me and pokin me, so I swatted in his direction. It was his own dam fault he got that black eye.”
“Well, the way he tells it…”
“To hell with what he says! Ya can’t trust a pathological liar!” He picked up on the social cue, for once, and stopped talking. “Why don’t you care bout them? ”
“I dunno, just doesn’t occur to me. Same reason why you care.”
“But I care cause I want to, you don’t care cause you don’t want to.” This made me think, not to change my ways or none of that, cause I wanted to think about it. Why? Why did I want to think about it? Billy stopped and bent down, there was a squirrel to his left, about five feet away. “Things are so friendly.” He said, holding out a hand. I rolled my eyes and allowed my eyes to graze the treetops, taking in the many shades of green. Branches thinning out as they reached the endless sky, brushing against the baby blue and fluffy gray clouds. The sun shone on the pond, glimmering and rippling on places were stout little ducks had dove under in pursuit for leftover bread thrown from children’s hands. The swan boats floated elegantly around the island filled with tourists and their cameras. My eyes came to rest on the stone bridge, an ancient structure. It made me wonder what had been happening in this very spot during the revolution, how this whole pretty green had been flecked with sheep and horses and was bare of all fountains and beds of flowers. Strange. Different. “Cute little thing, huh?” I realized the squirrel had inched up to Billy’s hand and allowed him to pat his sleek grayish brown head in exchange for a piece of popcorn. “Are you the squirrel whisperer or somethin?” I said trying to conceal my sarcasm. He smiled and gave the squirrel a final pat before standing up. The squirrel, surprised by his sudden movement and the looming shadow now above its head, scurried away, chattering angrily. “Cute, but dumbest thing alive.” I told him.
“I kinda think they’re like you a bit.”
“Well, they don’t care much about everyone else either.”
“Billy, it’s not that I don’t care bout everyone else. Hell, I don’t even care bout me that much.”
“What do you care about?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“That sounds nice, not to have anything holding you back.”
“Your making me out to be a dam sociopath! I just don’t know, ok!”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know myself. Your different.” Was it a compliment or an insult? A statement. And for the first time, I saw behind those chestnut eyes. I saw that under his dopey grin and happiness, the shy and curious boy he really was. “It’s 12:30,” He said, pointing at my watch. “I’m gonna go and pick up my sister from school.”
“Ok,” Why would he do that for her? And then I realized I had said it out loud.
“I love her, I love hearing bout her day to. She’s cute and real smart. She’s my baby sister.”
“Oh.” And I smiled, I smiled at the little puppy. He only smiled back, even bigger. “Your different, but still human, don’t forget that.”
“Yeah, take care of yourself, Billy. Go to school.” He smiled and waved as he walked across the bridge. And I spent the rest of the day walking around, absorbing the natural beauty around me. Appreciating life and my surroundings. Because, after all, we’re all human.

The author's comments:
I have known Billy forever. He always used to annoy me, now I think I finally understand him. But then again, no one will ever fully know him.

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This article has 5 comments.

on Jun. 5 2011 at 2:43 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

Separate the dialogue would be my only criticism, but I like the story overall, and your characters were believable. I especially like the ending :)

on Jun. 4 2011 at 3:32 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

The grammar in this piece was really distracting and a little bit confusing.  This is probably because I'm not used to this strong dialect.  Maybe you should have separated the dialogue from the rest of the piece more often.  Adding some dialogue tags (not too many, just a few) would have been really helpful in determining who the speaker was.

SOLONG said...
on May. 31 2011 at 5:31 pm
SOLONG, Mitchell, South Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 54 comments

this has a cute moral! :D but there were a few used the wrong word..when you said 'dam' you meant to add a 'n' on the end of it. And I think yo had some problems staying past tense...also i wouldn't use such strong dialect...well i meant it's dialect for me because where I live we don't cut the g's off of the ing's or say ya...but yeah don't that all that much...i would still keep it ing and say you...also I got confused on who was talking...try adding some dialoge tags to clear it up....but other than that it was pretty good! :D



on May. 31 2011 at 5:26 pm
IncorrectlyWired GOLD, Milford, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness." - Aristotle

The grammar was a little distracting, because it honestly was kinda bad... but that aside, the story was good, the characters were real, and it had a very warm feel overall.

SOLONG said...
on May. 31 2011 at 5:25 pm
SOLONG, Mitchell, South Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 54 comments

aww...this has  good moral! :D but...u used the wrong word!! when you said 'dam' your really meant 'damn' yeah just thought you should no that! also I think you have some problems staying in past tense. Also I think you could use more descriptions...other than thoses few was pretty good! :D




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