Open Letter

May 6, 2011
By , Columbus, MT
To whom it may concern,

It may not occur to you, but you have deeply effected the way I may someday raise my children. You were always there for me with my needs. If I needed new shoes or clothes I could depend upon you to be there for me. Growing up I didn't have a want in the world. My life was simple and easy. Although at the time I did have my mother to care for me and you to provide for me. We did have some fun times going on hikes, fishing, ect. They always ended with me learning a life lesson that you didn't seem to follow. I know you were trying to teach me to be a better person, but it is hard to follow an example that doesn't exist. I never wanted to have one parent and at times I wonder if there was something I could have done, but I realize, now that I'm older, that it's always been this way.

I was young when I only had you and my mother had gone back home. That woman you had us living with, I have words for her that are still to good to describe her. I just couldn't believe that you would believe her and her kids over us every time. I wanted to go to Disney World too. I didn't want to have to spend every night hiding in my room in fear of the lies they told about me when you returned home. You shouldn't have punished Brent when he spanked her son. He deserved much worse than that. In my opinion he got of lucky, because you punished us harsher than that for thing we didn't even do. That woman told you lies, she wanted to get rid of us. I know this because she told us on a daily basis. Not to mention her kids reminded me every night, when you made us do all the chores. I always cleaned my room when you told me. The kid was just so fast at making it dirty again in the amount of time it took me to find you. I don't remember when we went home and mom came back, but it must have been the greatest day in my life. I wish I didn't remember the rest.

I didn't want Taya to feel the way I felt when you brought us into your family on the side. That girl does not deserve that. She is nice and she does look up to me I could tell. I didn't want to see myself when I looked into her eyes. She is so innocent and doesn't know about the horrible things that you and her mother did to my family. If she does know, well then it is not my place to make her feel guilty for the things that she cannot control. I really hope that her life with her father is good. Her mother talks so bad about him like he is a horrible person. Jamie just seems cold to me. She is a very spoiled, selfish person. She never even moved out of her parents house. She tries to be nice, but her smile is so fake I can't stand it. I just keep getting the feeling that she is going to leave you. I don't know if she will but I don't think she would feel to sorry about it. She didn't care about your wife and kids. All she wanted was what made her feel happy. Wow, I guess you guys might be perfect for each other. How many wives are you going to have in one lifetime, how many kids, how many broken hearts?

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when you left us again. I hated you. I didn't ever want you to come back, but at the same time I wished you would change your mind again. I wanted you to be excited to see me. The older I got the more it seemed like you didn't even care. I came to live with you because I had to prove to myself that you did. I admit when I first got there I was excited. I couldn't believe that mom let me leave so willingly. It shows that all she really wants is to see me happy. I loved living in Utah. There is so much to do in that valley. I had every opportunity in the world to become anything I wanted, but that wasn't what I cared about. If you would've been more willing to talk to me about why I even came in the first place then maybe I would've stayed. You just acted like I belonged there. You didn't even bother asking me why I came. You almost never called me before I decided to go to Utah. You don't call me now. Mom tried to talk to me every night while I was there. When I said I wanted to come back you freaked. You yelled and screamed at me and the weirdest part was that I felt like I was little and at home. You did everything you could to force me to stay there. You threatened my mother. You tried to bribe me. That doesn't show that you love me that shows that you are selfish and only want what makes you happy. I wanted to be with people that love me and I don't want to waste my time on you and the past. That's why I don't call you. That's why I don't ask to come see you, and that's why I spend most of my time with Jake when I am there. I know he cares if I'm happy and he knew that I didn't belong there.

I'm going to college far away from anyone I've connected myself to and farther from you. I don't mind visiting you don't get me wrong, but I hate it when you act like you know what is right. You only know what is right for you. Only one high school football game. You only came to one, and it was the last one. What would you have done if something "would have came up," and you couldn't make it? Would you have felt sorry, knowing that you missed out on ever seeing your youngest child in a sport that many others loved to watch me in? I don't think you would have. You didn't even want to join me for dinner after. All you cared about was that Jamie felt sick. I can tell you why she felt sick, because you were finally showing one of your children more love than her. Where is her heart? She didn't even care or want to be there with you at my game or at Jessica's graduation. Honestly, if she pulls that **** again I will ask both of you to leave my graduation and go home. That's why I want the after party at our house. If Jamie can't stand to come to our house don't bother coming at all. Just stay home in your own world, because I'm over trying to please you, and letting you try to convince me that you love me. I don't need you anymore. I'm gong to be fine on my own because you have forced me to be on my own since you left us. My mother has to work four jobs to keep us afloat. I go hungry on more than one night a week, and I fend for myself. I make my own rules and I watch my own back. I'm not scared to be by myself at college, and I'm not going to be depending on you.

I love you, I really do. No matter what you think I like seeing you and making you happy. I will continue to see you and make you happy, but not until you ask me too. I'm not going to waste my time calling you. If you call me I will make time to talk to you because you are a big part of my life. You have taught me at least one valuable lesson. When I have kids, I can't only be there for them financially, but I need to be there physically as well. I need to care for them in any way they need me. You succeeded at teaching me how to be a good and honest person. I know how to take care of myself because of you. You did a great job at making me who I am. The only problem is that I am the way I am because I don't want to be like you.

I Love You,
Walter





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