Choosing | Teen Ink

Choosing

March 25, 2011
By Anonymous

My heart aches to know, but instead it shrieks as it is slowly and painfully torn to shreds at the thought of having to choose between the two people I have come to love. My brain cowers in fear in the dark chasms of my subconscious mind, trying to hide from the screams of my dying heart, bearing no sign of rescuing it from it's agonizing state. My whole body is beginning loose that precious sleep that I now yearn for the most and is now shaking with the weight of this god awful burden that was forced upon me. All I can think is, "will I be able to make the right decision and choose before it's too late or will it be the death of me?"

I have chosen. The one that is now mine may be the one I have decided upon but I cannot dismiss the fact that my love for the other can never be doused like a simple candle flame, it will instead remain in me as a shadow and constant reminder of my decision.

Beneath all of my constant smiles and laughter there is a raging, burning hell within me that I cannot control. I have become filled with anger and sorrow, for my aching heart remains doubtful of my choice and it will destroy me in the end if I do not try to tame the beast that is my decision, hungered by my yearning for love, that I have created within my soul.


The author's comments:
I wrote this one night when I was forced to make an impossible decision that I eventually came to a conclusion on, but was still unsure.

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