The Journey of a Lifetime

April 15, 2011
By Anonymous

It all started in the beginning of my junior year of high school. I was sitting in lunch, minding my own business when it happened. Those two words that changed my life forever. It’s funny when you think about it, really. How two words can change the way you think, act, look, and feel.

You’re Fat.

I couldn’t breathe when I heard it. I don’t know why it got to me so much, but it just did. I felt like, for lack of a better term, s***. I stormed out of the cafeteria like nobody’s business. I didn’t want to be associated with a person because I know that they have the ability to make you feel the way that one girl did. When I got home that day, I started to cry my eyes out. At that very moment, when mascara was running down my face and my face swelling up like a tomato, I knew that I wanted to change. I wanted to lose weight and be more confident. Not for her, but for me.

My starting weight was 164 pounds. I know it doesn’t necessarily sound that bad, but to me, it was. After looking at the scale, I hoped to God that I would never see that number again. And I didn’t.

My journey began the next day. Everything changed. The food in my school cafeteria didn’t look good anymore. Ice cream looked like a key to insecurities and self hatred. And my treadmill looked like the only way out.

At first, running on a treadmill was dreadful. I would hate coming home from a hard day at school and then jogging for 20 minutes. I would go down this path three times a week. I know it’s not much, but I was ignorant at the time.

153 pounds: After about two months or so, I got the best advice that I’ve ever gotten. My brother told me to do interval training. What? I had never heard of that in my life. After he told me what it was (sprinting for 30 seconds and walking for one minute) I became excited to try it.

152 pounds: My first compliment. Hearing those words, ‘you lost weight’, meant the world to me at the time. It motivated me to keep doing what I do and to never give up.

150 pounds: Doing Interval training made me lose three pounds in one week I knew that this would give me the results I need and fast. After seeing some results, I started to love the treadmill. Eventually, I would become excited to go home and run on the treadmill.

148 pounds: I will never forget this day. When I woke up, I thought it would be a normal day. I was wrong. I never thought that finding something to wear would be such a hard thing to do. I read somewhere that once you start losing weight; you start to see yourself fatter than before when you look in the mirror. Now this may be a myth, but it happened to me. I remember looking in the mirror with swelled up cheeks, eyes fixed on the bulge hanging out. I didn’t want it there. Clothes were lying around everywhere, and I just felt like the fattest person on the planet. I literally just went into my room, closed the door, and bawled my eyes out. I knew there was no way that I gained weight because the scale showed that I lost 16 pounds. I was disappointed in myself for feeling the way I did.

145 pounds: The only thing I regret the most from this whole journey was when I would ask the close people in my life “Do I look fat?” Constantly. Every time I would put on a new outfit, this would be the first thing to come out of my mouth. I regret it because I shouldn’t have cared about other people’s opinions. I should have focused on how I felt, not about what they said.

142 pounds: I remember putting on a pair of jeans that I used to wear all the time, and having it being very loose on me. It was the highlight of my week.

139 pounds: Yes! Finally :) the four in the middle went away. Also, I started my senior year when I was 139 pounds. Hearing those compliments from people I barely even talked to made me feel so good about myself. This one girl even messaged me on facebook asking me how I lost weight. I was very pleased.

136 pounds – my current weight: At last. I reached my goal and lost 28 pounds. I have never felt more confident in my life. I can now do anything I want without hiding behind my backpack or jacket. The best feeling in the world is when someone notices all of the hard work you did. I’ve gotten comments from parents, teachers, friends, family members, etc. You name it. Those are the people that I have to thank the most. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I also want to thank the girl that called me fat in the first place. I know right, what the hell? Why would I thank someone who caused me pain? But the pain was only temporary. The happiness is worth a lifetime. Without that comment, I doubt that I would have lost 28 pounds. Who knows why she said it. Maybe she had so much insecurity herself that she felt the need to make someone else feel down. Either way, I feel empathy for her. As a matter of fact, I feel sorry for people like her. You don’t get anywhere by calling somebody fat, ugly, stupid, or queer. It doesn’t make you stronger, and it certainly doesn’t make you a better person. People should just accept everyone for who they really are and not judge others based on their physical appearance. But who am I kidding? This isn’t a perfect world where everything just falls in place. This is life. It hands you things and sometimes, you just have to deal.

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