My Silent Plea

By , State College, PA
What's happening to me?

I'm no longer the happy girl I used to be. Instead of talking for hours on the phone with my best friend and laughing about stupid things that happened during the day, I'm curled up on my bed crying my eyes out over nothing in particular.

What's happening to me?

I don't want to do anything. I used to love video games. And singing. And the clarinet. And writing, too. But not anymore. I can't even do homework. My grades aren't doing so well.

What's happening to me?

Since I'm on crutches from the skiing accident last week, I got an elevator key from the office. It's sharp. I've been cutting my arm up with it. I've never done that before. I've never wanted to.

What's happening to me?

My friends seem to be drifting away. I'm always angry, I'm always upset with everything. Little frustrations make me scream and cry like a toddler.

What's happening to me?

I can't talk to my friends. They'll tell my parents. I can't talk to my parents. They'll flip out at me. They probably won't even believe me. They'll think it's just an angst-y teenager phase.

What's happening to me?

I've been disguising it. Sure, I might seem happy-go-lucky on the outside. But you haven't seen into me, you haven't seen the roiling black clouds surrounding my heart.

What's happening to me?

Everywhere I look, there's pain. My pain and others' pain. The skiing accident last weekend's not helping much, either. The skin under my arms has been rubbed raw by the crutches and makes it impossible to go places without pain. That endless pain.

What's happening to me?

Life no longer seems to be worth living. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I've never, ever wanted to die before. I'm scared. I'm so scared. There's no one I can talk to, and I'm scared.

What's happening to me?

Someone, please, tell me!

What's happening to me?





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Catiejune said...
May 6, 2011 at 9:23 am
wow im sooo sorry this is sad. remeber ur friends are always there for you
 
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