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~who really cares...~

By , Pompton Plains, NJ
Don't you think that love would be easy? Dont you think you can trust them? Don't you think that giving your heart away isn't so bad? Don't you think when you help someone out, they will help you too? Dont you think that when someone else has wronged they should apologize? Honestly, that's what I thought. Until I got face to face with reality. And do you know what I realized? Anyone can be the girl behind the mask. The girl always smiling, laughing, and having a great time. But do you know who she really is? Because I am not aure anyone does. To be honest, no one has the guts to figure out that she cannot find her place in this world. Would you ever care to help? No. I guess you just need to be selfish. But will you just open your eyes? Look around you. She is not okay ... do you see that? If you can't see past the mask, then who the heck are you saying you know her? Do you understand that she was always there for you? Boosting your spirit, or making your day? And how many times were you there for her? You don't know? Figures. Since when do you know anymore? Gosh since when do you care? Maybe one day you will see it, and that day, it will be too late. you watch and see. Then, would you have taken her for granted? Treated her like nothing? Making her think she was worthless to the world. Do you wanna live like that? Do you?! Would you like to be apologizing for every breath you take? For every single word you say? Would you? No. Do you know why? Because who in the hell of the world wants to live like that? Because I certainly don't want to. How did she go all this time wearing the mask you never seemed to want to take off? Living the lie you found so perfect. Loving a piece of plastic. A lifeless humam being who lost everything due to the fact that the love and life was stolen right out from under her. Will you think next time? Will you never ever tell a girl you are afraid of them next time? Will you tell her she is beautiful next time? I hope you have a next time, to review all your lost mistakes. Because she gave you so much, and I don't believe you gave her anything back in return. She stayed up days and nights hoping and praying you would be okay. Now, she can't sleep at night. Now she has nervous break Downs. Now, she is afraid of who she is. Afraid of becoming. Afraid of living for tomorrow. All because of how you took her care of her. The advantages that were taken. The lies that were told. The fakeness of it all. How could you even think about killing someone like this? Well I know she is already dead inside. Not caring anymore. Blowing things off. Because how is a worthless person suppose to live? I am not sure they do. I am not sure they smile. Or laugh. Or have a good time. But she must be soo good at all these things that you can't even see through them. And you will never know it. Because she will wait for you to break her. She is too afraid to break you herself. Bring her back again. Because this has been going on for too long. She can't keep living like this. It is unhealthy. And the only one who can figure this out is you. She sold herself to you. But guess what... she is gonna hold onto whatever she hs left. Save it for someone who actually cares. I know you do care about her, but really how much? I bet there are other things that are keeping you alive. Not just her. I bet everything you said to her that made the slightest bit of sense, was a lie. I bet you are using her with her precious heart that can be crushed so easily. I bet you already took it to pieces and threw it all out the window. To be picked up by the wind and to be carried out to the world. Alone, helpless and scared. With no one to pick it back up and brush it off and tell it it will be okay. With no guarantee for hope. Just a quiet whisper of its own words not to give up. When you don't understand how badly it wants too... it will keep going. But only because it believes hope is out there somewhere. When in reality, it is no where to even be found. And by the time turning around would be an option, it will be too late. That is when hope whispers "please, one more try" but your heart is shattered. The pieces are no where to be found. Life seems unfair as it is. Add this? And I am thinking we are done. I think we might of just hit the end of the road. Where all her hopes and dreams are crushed. No one ever thought this was how it was gonna end... but look guys, I believe the chase is over. Your next road, how to enter the world of sorrow. The world for unworthy people like her. There is no hope left in her body. You took it all. How could you do that to her?! The strongest girl I knew ...gone. to my best friend! Right when she finally, actually loving herself. When she could actually look into the mirror and love what she saw. And right when she saw that... it was gone. The image was gone. Bye bye beauty. Because now, in that mirror, is absolutely nothing at all. She states blankly at the mirror to see nothing. That is the worthless life she took on. To see nothing is showing no hope. I told you it was gone! Thanks for killing her right before you even got to know the real her. Just thanks for killing me too. Both of us died together. My soul, my mind, my heart... one body...





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