A True Story

March 23, 2011
By , Waukesha, WI
My childhood for the most part is one of innocence, friends, birthdays,
fun, and happiness. But on the other hand I’ve gone through some things
that no child should ever experience. But when I look back on my childhood,
the sad thing is, these bad things that I’ve been through seem to just
overwhelm all the good things. My father is a nice person, but he has his
moments of terror. My mother and I strongly believe that he has anger
management issues. But when we bring it up to he denies it. My mother and
I’ve had to grow up all our lives with this problem that my dad denies,
we’ve lived in fear, never knowing what might set him off.


One night my dad, his girlfriend, and I were eating dinner; everything was
going fine, but something somehow went horribly wrong. My dad’s
girlfriend started to talk very badly about me; “You’re so bad at
school just because you’re mom never helps you with your homework. I mean
come on! You don’t even have a single A on your report card! Are you that
dumb?!”


Every word she spoke felt like a knife piercing me in the heart. I looked
over at my dad; he was still eating, seeming as if he hadn’t heard a
thing that she said. She talked like this for over 45mins, and every word
she spoke started to gradually make me angry. My rage was building to an
extreme, like a volcano getting ready to explode; I had never felt such
rage before. Finally I couldn’t take these putrid things that she was
saying. I shot up from my chair and shouted an angry retort! “SCREW YOU!
MY MOM IS ONE HECK OF A PARENT! She’s always there for me unlike my dad!
She’s never once forgotten my birthday or any one of my activities!” Of
course my father heard this. My father lunged over the table and grabbed me
by the collar of my shirt and dragged me away from the table. Tears were
falling down my face; from the pain that her words have caused me. My
father let go of me before we started to climb up the stairs. Suddenly I
felt his fist slam into my back with such extreme force. He’s kicking me
up the stairs, not even caring about my well being. We reached the top of
the stairs; the door to my room still shut from this morning. My father
shoved me in to the door to my room with all his might.


My father threw me on to my bed and starts to yell at me. Tears cascading
down my cheeks; not from the physical pain, but from the knowledge that my
own father has betrayed me! I couldn’t believe that he was actually
defending this putrid excuse of a girlfriend. I thought it was always
family first, I guess not. His face was glowing red with rage; he raises
his fist again and hits me square in the eye. Blood starts dropping down
from my eye. I started screaming bloody murder! My screams could’ve been
heard from a mile away, but yet- no help came. I realized this; and decided
to take things into my own hands. The next moment seemed to happen in slow
motion for me. My father was about to hit me again. Before his hand even
reached its’ target I was able to get my leg free from my dad’s vice
like grip and I kicked him straight across the face, he had no idea what
had happened. I took this moment to get up and run, I ran as fast as I
could. My vision was horrible considering that blood was running like a
river out of my left eye. I was able to find the door; freedom I
thought.


Before I even took one step out the door my father dad caught up with me
and wrenched my left arm back as far as it could go. I could literally feel
my arm being pulled from its’ socket. It felt like a thousand red hot
knives were tearing into my flesh. I couldn’t believe something like this
was happening to me! I thought this was all one horrible nightmare. The
pain was horrendous; I could’ve passed out right there and then from the
pain. From nowhere out of the blue, my father starts to yell at me for only
ever having one girlfriend. I was able to break free of my dad’s grip yet
again and punched my father straight across the face; I started to run for
my life. I looked back at my father, just standing there and yelled,
“THAT’S BECAUSE I LIKE GUYS MORE!”


I said this with one intent’ to hurt him. I ran… passing a number of
people who only looked at me, never even bothering to ask if I needed help.
But in turn I never asked for help. After about 30mins of running I finally
reached my desired destination, my boyfriend’s house. I ran up to the
door and knocked, my boyfriend came to the door; to his horror he found me
to be a mess. He quickly hugged and kissed me and assured me that I was
going to be alright, and that he’d take care of me. He went to get some
band aides to stop my eye from bleeding. Even though I ever told him
exactly what happened to me that fateful night he was able to understand;
he knew, that my father had beaten me to this extreme. He called the police
and alerted them to what had happened, for I was unable. I finally passed
out on his couch, but I didn’t pass out due to the pain, but to the fact
that I knew that I was finally safe. With that he walks over to me and
kisses me on the lips and whispered in my ear, “Goodnight my darling Ben.
I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m always going to be here to look out
for you, and I love you with all my heart.”


Later I learned that my father had been arrested and fingerprinted for
assault. I don’t fear him any longer. For I know that if he touches me in
a harmful manner again, he’ll end up in prison. I feel as if more
should’ve been done to my father. He should’ve been incarcerated for at
least a few days! That night of piece of me died; my innocence. I realized
that the world is an unfair place. Even the innocent get hurt. I hope
something like this never happens to you, or to someone that you know. If
it does you must stand up and tell someone. For this should never happen to
a child. My father and I still don’t always see eye to eye at times. I
still hold a grudge for what he had put me through during my childhood.
This experience was the turning point in my life. I had finally come out to
my father that I was gay. It wasn’t the ideal way that I would’ve
wanted this to happen but at least my secret was finally out and in the
open. I no longer had to hide who I truly was, no more having to change the
way I acted just because my dad didn’t want me to “end up” like this.
He’s always had my entire life planned out for me, but this was the night
that I finally took charge of my own life. This experience was a nightmare;
and to this very day I can still feel those wounds upon my body.





~*~* dedicated to you (you know who you are)


You saved my life that night. I never really got to thank you properly and
for that I’m sorry. I love you and always will





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