Parent Wars, they never really stop. They calm down for a while, rally the troops, regroup, and then the bomb explodes and the war resumes. The scary thing is, they could literally last for their whole life span. Being in the middle of parent wars is like being on a rollercoaster. I know a lot of people use this analogy, but I think it really does apply. You go from loop to loop, emotion to emotion, and you never really get off . Divorce affects a lot of people, but so do parent wars. Battle after battle after battle breaks you down, but you aren't allowed to crumble. Sometimes it's a battle about how they run their households, where they take you, how they act around each other, anything imaginable, they'll complain about the other(s). A lot of the time, though, the loop you just keep riding back to is the one that holds your pain. This is the loop that contains all of those times you just want to run up to your room, shut the door, and burst into tears. Then it moves on to a numbness loop, where you just want to keep moving forward, get on with this day to the next. Afterwards, comes the loop where you feel anger, even hate sometimes to one side or both sides. Then it repeats. It's more of a zigzag if you think about it. A zigzag pattern that runs through your heart, over and over again, only taking a few rest stops every once and a while. The part that sucks is that you can only contain it for a certain amount of time, then all of the sudden it starts spilling over the brim, and soon you can't control yourself, can't put up a wall or something and make it all stop. You start to get heart burn, but not because your stomach acid is moving up your esophagus, but because you just want to be done, but you know you can't. You know that a peace treaty will never be signed by the two sides. Realization starts to hit you, and then, you are torn to pieces. One is denial, another wanting someone just to hold you, another wanting to burst into tears, as always. What happens when you aren't an emotional person??? What happens if you bottle it all up, you force yourself not to let the tears run down your eyes, you force yourself to not give in, to fight through a battle you can not ever win??? Then it just turns worse. Because you will finally let the tears come, but they won't. It'll stay bottled up until the instant you want it happen the least. Then you'll let go of years and years worth of tears. Yes, parent wars go on for years and years and years. Drama and heart break are all that comes of this. So why should divorce be allowed??? All it does is make worlds come crashing down on people. If you didn't love them, than why did you marry them, why did you live that phony life for so many years, only to make your future and your child's future more complicated than it ever needed or wanted to be??? What's the point in forcing people to mature to early, so they can't enjoy what's left of their childhood? Why ruin it, by starting Parent Wars?? Parents are supposed to be there for you, make everything better, and not make it worse. I thought parents were supposed to make your life pain free, always protect you from what's out there, but no, that is just a fairy tale. Like all fairy tales, not every child in this world gets to live in one. Some people find out faster than others that those statements and so many more closely related ones are about as real as a unicorn. Your parents aren't here to make your life better, their here to make it worse. They are here to cause more pain, break your heart into so many pieces there's no force in this entire world that could bring any of it back together. There is absolutely nothing that can help you get through. Friends may be there when your family isn't, but what if your family is never there?? What happens if your dad breaks your heart all week by boxing you out, successfully, and then you come over to your mom's house, and she hides everything from you?? Your friends can't always be there, because your family is supposed to be there every once and a while, but for some people, it doesn't work that way. For some people, nothing works any way that benefits them. When they find happiness in another person they never saw it in before it turns them down and blocks them out. What happens when all people want is a little bit of comfort, and it never comes??? You answer this question; why is it that some people get the perfect lives when other people never get thrown a bone? Why do some people get to have their parents be together forever, have all of the friends in school, and never have a single problem in their pretty little fantasy lives, and then, some people, get all of those problems and thrown away-non used emotions in one big bundle, that doesn't include happiness or enjoyment?? When is it going to be our chance?? When will fantasies and wishes ever come true? Why doesn't the sun ever shine on our half of the earth?? Tell me, when will the tears begin to disappear from our faces, and the red dissolve from our eyes???
There Isn't An Appropriate Title for This.
March 13, 2011