March 8, 2011
Pretending it doesn't hurt to see your face among the many sea of others. Walking away from it all at the end of the day, pretending it doesn't hurt to hear your voice among all the others. Pretending it doesn't kill me inside to pick up the phone and hear your voice on the other end. Pretending it doesn't hurt to see you in the crowded halls, and see you turn and walk away. Pretending when we're all alone and I'm in your arms that all is well. Just Pretending helps if just for a little while cause in the end I'll be wrong and I'll just be left here Pretending.

Some say I'm living in a fantasy others say I'm depriving myself but when it all comes down to it I'm just pretending. Pretending it doesn't kill me every time I see you or just come near you, for you to turn your head and just walk away. I pretend you trust me and love me because even though I show you hardly ever show me in return forcing me to just pretend. I pretend I hear your voice calling me and telling me goodnight but I always wake and realize it was only a dream. I know at the end of the day I can proudly walk away pretending. I pretend when you say those three little words that mean so much that you really mean it but in the end I know I'm only pretending. In the end I hold my head high hide my tears pretend everything's okay and just walk away. Some say I'll keep pretending others say I'll snap out of it. Only they don't know that pretending isn't something you ever snap into. It’s impossible to snap out of something you can’t ever snap into to begin with. I’ll eventually give in and walk away for good. Then it will be your turn to pretend that you don't miss me or that it doesn't hurt to see my smiling face so full of joy and laughter where as when I was pretending there was never a smile on my face to be found. Now it's your turn to pretend cause I'm through pretending with you.

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