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My First Love

It was this year the middle of my second year in middle school. I moved to China a year ago, I had one crush on a guy for a long time but I did not love him. Then After Christmas break he moved somewhere else. So I found a new crush after see everything the guy was doing. I fell in love. I loved everything he did. He was funny like me and he loved art like me. We had a lot more in common.

So one day I got the guts to send him a message telling him I liked him. Of course I didn’t tell him I loved him, I just said I really like you. He didn’t message me back for about a month. When He finally replied he said “Thank you. Sorry to say but I think we should just remain schoolmates.” SCHOOLMATES! Not even friend’s just schoolmates, I cried myself to sleep that night I was so upset because I really loved him. So the next couple of days at school I was sad not even my friends could cheer me up. I was to upset and heartbroken.

I thought he liked me because every time he saw me and then I looked sad he went from smiling to frowning. So I thought he cared about me, he never said anything to me but he saw me from a distance. I thought he was too scared to admit that he liked me. He never talked to me and the only time I talked to him was when I passed by him and I would say excuse me. When I said that after the message thing him and I looked so depressed for a couple of days. But after a week or so he was back to being happy with his friends and I was still depressed. Every time he passed me in the hall or lunch room I felt like I was about to burst out crying. But I held it back one time when he passed me and stood behind me in the lunch line I couldn’t help myself and then I started to cry a little. I think he got the point and when my friend looked behind me she said he looked sad. I was hoping that none of the teachers would see me because then they would ask what was wrong, gladly none of them did. I was wrong he did not like me at all he liked someone else.

I still haven’t gotten over him; I still sort of love him. I will probably be in love with him until I leave. I have found a new crush but I can’t see me loving him. It is too hard to get over someone that you loved and they turned you down. My friend had the same thing happen to her a couple of weeks ago. I am still depressed and some nights I still cry myself to sleep. Some day probably not until I leave China he will realize that I loved him. I can’t stop crying when I right these types of things. I hope someday I will find a new love and he will love me back.




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