I Didn't Mean to

February 18, 2011
By , Los Angeles, CA
Everyday is a normal day for me and my strict family. To me, I loved how everyday my dad used to go pick me up from Virgil Middle School and take me to go eat anywhere with my two youngest brothers. After, he would take us home to do our homework. My dad would always to pick my mom up from work at 5:00 p.m. When she comes, she would always kiss us hello and ask me and my brothers how our school day had went. Life was awesome for me until one day I made the biggest mistake in my life, and a whole twist occurred.

I came from school on Monday October 13, 2009. Everything was normal, I came to do my homework like always. After I finished my homework I was always on my phone texting to the guy I really liked. I was telling him all these bad things about my parents because they were screaming at me about my grades.

So, I started telling him, F*** , my mom and dad are such b******, they F***** exaggerate for every little thing, and my mom is such a little b****! Can’t she just see that I'm trying my best and it’s barely the first report card.”

“Damn, you got some strict a** parents,” he commented.

“ I know but whatever, I don’t give a sh**,” I complained.

That night I was in my room talking on the phone with my cousin, about the guy I liked. My dad came in and screamed, “Who are you talking to!?”

“No one,” I said in a nervously voice.

“Give me your phone right now!”

I gave it to him and felt butterflies in my tummy. Right there I was starting to get worried because I knew that he was going to read it. He went to go sit down on the couch, waited for 5 minutes for my mom to finish washing the dishes with her nurse uniform still on. When she was done, my dad said, “Honey, come here Stephanie is always in her phone texting and calling people I want you to read Stephanie’s messages and translate it to me in Spanish.”

My mom said, “Okay then.”

I was still in my room really scared, my hands were getting sweaty, my heart felt like it was going to come out, I got so scared that I even started shaking and I couldn’t say one word to what my brothers were saying, “Ha ha, Stephanie, you’re getting in trouble.”

When my mom was reading it and translating it, my dad couldn't believe one single word that I wrote.

He screamed out my name, “STEPHANIE...!”

I went to the living room and when I saw my mom’s eyes swollen with tears, it broke me into pieces. I felt something awkward. My dad was screaming at me saying, “Why did you write this and especially to a stranger?”

I couldn’t say one word. My tears were stuck in my throat.

“Oh my god Stephanie, you really think I'm a b****, huh?” my mom questioned with tears in her honey-colored eyes.

“Hija de la gran p***, how can you say all of these things, huh?” my dad yelled with his voice getting deeper and deeper and grabbing my hands wanting to hit me.

“Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I don’t want you in my house, I want you to get out!” my mom shouted.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I wasn’t their daughter anymore. My dad was as angry as a bull. His eyes were really red from all the crying he was doing. My mom’s heart was crying out all the pain. She and my dad didn't expect this from me because ever since I was born, I had never disrespected them. I felt really guilty for saying those words about them.

They said, “Why, why did you say those horrible things?”

I couldn't answer them because when I cry, it makes it hard for me to speak up so I just stayed quiet.

My parents that night hated me: they wanted to kick me out of the house. They didn't want to talk to me, or even look at me. That's how mad and hurt they were. Both my brothers couldn't believe I did that either. They were both also crying.

Andy, my little brother, said, “Wow, Stephanie, that was pretty low of you.”

“Yeah, Stephanie, you hurt Mami and Papi really bad,” my littlest brother, Brandon stated, while he was waiting patiently for his waffles.

When my dad told me to leave and go to my room, I sat down on my bed, my tears falling to the ground.I thought to myself, “How stupid of me to say those things! How stupid of me not to delete those horrible messages. How stupid of me to not realize that if my parents ever read it, it’s going to kill them!”

Everybody was asleep and it was 10:00 p.m. and I couldn't go to sleep from all the pain and guilt that I had created. I ended up falling asleep at 12:30 a.m.

The next morning, when my mom woke up, she didn't dare to look at me or say good morning. That hurt me a lot, that she would not even say one tiny word. My dad went to work at 4:00 a.m. in the morning, so I didn't get to see him at all until the afternoon. My dad called that morning, when I was getting ready for school. He told me,“Stephanie, I don’t want you to tell anyone what happened last night. Pretend it never happened.”

“Okay, Papi,” I responded with an anxious voice.

When he told me that I asked myself, “How could I act normal if the truth is, it did happen?”

When I hung up, I felt like tears where going to come out of me again. I went to my room to put on my shoes, when my aunt came to pick up my little brother, Brandon, to take him to his school. My mom told her the whole story of what had happened. She asked, “Clara, can you believe what that girl wrote?” my mom whispered.

“Pinche Chamaca, what kind of things come to her mind!” my aunt said.

“Stupid things!” my mom screamed.

“I think you should ground her really good,” my aunt replied combing her short blonde hair and bumping up her bangs.

I felt really awful right there and started to cry because my dad had told me not to say anything and the first thing my mom did was tell my aunt. she also told Johnny, my uncle, who normally drinks a lot, and my grandpa, Saturino, who owns a market. I noticed also that my dad had told his brother, my uncle Alex.

That morning, I went to school crying. Everyone was around asking me what had happened. I just stared at them saying nothing, telling them to just leave me alone to catch my breath. The whole day in school I felt depressed and down. I hardly did my work and also hardly talked the whole day.

After, when I got home from school, my parents could hardly look at me. I went to my room crying because of what I had done to them. It made me feel really terrible. I couldn't hold my tears anymore. Therefore I went to the restroom to let it all out. For two days, I kept crying because neither of them talked to me, until Friday they saw that I couldn’t help it anymore.

Friday night came and we were all about to go sleep to our rooms, when my dad said, "Stephanie, come tell your mom good night.”

“Okay Papi,” I whispered in a soft voice.

I went to go kiss her goodnight and right there I told her with tears in my eyes, “Mami, I’m really sorry for all those stupid things I said. You know you are a wonderful mother and I regret everything I said.”

My mom just stared at me with her eyes glowing. She smiled with her soft pinkt lips and said, “I love you too.”

Those words refreshed me, I felt happy again. I started to cry extremely hard and I went to go hug my dad too.

"Papi, I’m sorry, for every vindictive word I hurled at you and Mami. I love you and Mami a lot,” I cried timidly.

“Okay hija, me and your mom forgive you but your still grounded and we both love you too. I hope you never say those words ever again, especially to other people you don’t know,” my daddy calmly replied.

He kissed me good night and we all went to sleep. I slept really well that night with a big smile on my face.

Ever since that day, I've never disrespected my parents again because what I said not only hurt my parents but also me. Words like those can hurt anyone, whether they are your parents, friends, or a stranger. I learned that never to disrespect my parents because getting mad for one little thing that your parents do doesn’t mean that you have to say all those horrible things and one day they’re going to find out and it’s going to hurt them. I say to always respect your parents, live as much as you can with them, because there not always going to be there for you, or live with you. Parents are once in a life. Once you become more of an adult and them old folks, they get to leave you. Therefore enjoy your parents, love them and care for them, they are as loving as they can be with you. Your parents give you your life and if you treat them like trash, then what’s the point of you living? I hope my family and I never remember this horrible event. I hope we can keep moving forward because a year has passed. I hope we can forgive and forget.





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