Separation Brought Us Peace

February 18, 2011
By Anonymous

Ever since I was six years old, my parents have been constantly arguing. During the screaming and yelling, my older sister, Geovana, and I would stand by the doorway listening to the yelling and scared. Geovana would look at me with tears in her dark brown eyes and say, “Everything will be alright.” She would put her finger on her lips and tell me, “Shhhhh! Don’t cry anymore, it’s okay.”

They would argue so much that I don’t even remember what they would argue about, all I could hear was the screaming. I would always say to myself I hope this all ends someday, yet that day never seemed to appear. They kept arguing, and it was already starting to get annoying after a while until the summer of 2009, when they finally separated...

Usually when parents separate, their children are sad, but that day I felt very happy because the arguing was finally going to stop. That summer, the arguing had gotten so bad that my mom decided to take me and my sisters to visit my cousin, Laura, who lived by Mariposa Street. My mom started talking to her about the problems she had with my dad. My cousin listened and tried to comfort her. My cousin was surprised to hear what my mom was telling her, since she knew to hear about the constant arguing that was going on between my parents. She thought it was terrible that my sisters and I would hear them argue that way. Laura told my mom that if she didn’t want to be living with him anymore we could move in with her. My mom asked me and my big sister if we were okay with living with my cousin for a couple of days. As I saw my mom sitting thoughtfully next to me we both agreed to stay.

Suddenly, around 9:00 o’clock that night, my dad realized that we weren’t coming home. He began to call my cell phone. I picked up nervously.

“Where is your mom?” my dad asked desperately.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” I said with attitude. Then, he started to raise his voice.

“Let me talk to her!” he demanded. I told him not to scream at me. He asked if I wanted him to send a cab to pick me and my sisters up to come home but since I’m closer with my mom, I didn’t want to go. Also, I felt like he was just trying to use us to get to my mom.

My mom whispered next to me, “Click on him,” so I did.

Since I was at Laura’s for a whole week, I got homesick. Being at Laura’s didn’t feel as comfortable as being at home, even though she was nice. However, I didn’t really want to go back home because I was afraid that the arguing would continue.

I thought to myself, “Maybe if Dad doesn’t live with us anymore we will actually get to have a better relationship with him because he won’t be mad all the time. Maybe he’ll actually have a chance to pay attention to me and my sisters.”

I actually never told my mom what I was feeling inside because I thought the best thing for us all was to be away from the arguing. I knew that my mom felt that she wanted the best for us and she didn’t know if staying at my cousin’s house was such a good idea.

Luckily, my older brother called my sister’s phone and my mom told him she was not with my dad anymore. He wasn’t surprised to hear my mom tell him what had happened because when he lived with us, he witnessed the arguing too.

“Mom, what did Tony say?” I asked softly after the phone call.

She said calmly, “He offered us to go live with him. What do you guys think?” My sister and I stared quickly at each other right away. My sister told my mom that we would go if she wanted to.

That same day, after my brother’s phone call, we took a cab to my brother’s house. Without a doubt, I felt like running out and going back home because I still felt homesick. My dad kept calling until finally my mom answered.

He asked her, “Will you please come back?”

She said she would have to talk to us about it first.

She asked us, “Do you want to go back home with your dad?”

I said, “No... but we can still go see Dad on the weekends.”

My mom asked doubtfully, “Are you sure?”

I responded quietly, “Yes.”

She said that my dad wanted to see us and that he had promised to change. She wanted to go home and have a serious talk with him. I felt nervous and afraid that nothing would change.

When we approached our apartment, my dad was anxiously waiting at the door. As soon as I saw him, my stomach felt odd, as if butterflies were flying uncontrollably inside. He hugged all of us at once with great force, shedding tears, and he had a big smile on his face that was from ear to ear, as if he were to be a kid who lost his favorite teddy bear and found it. I could tell that he was feeling more than one feeling at once. For once in his life, he looked at us as if we were the light of his eyes. We walked into our house and I was wondering what was going to happen. It actually felt good to see my dad because I hadn’t seen him in a long time and it was really rare for him to hug us.

Ever since then, things have been a little better. They still fight from time to time, but not as much as before. Now, when they fight, they just argue and at least they don’t throw things or leave the house like before. My dad sometimes doesn't pay attention to me I think it’s already too late to have a good father and daughter relationship. We still get along it is as if he is just someone I don’t know deeply and I just have to respect him. Still he’s my dad and I love him. From all of this, I have learned that parents need to avoid arguing in front of their children because they don’t know that they are affecting them as well. It’s scary for kids to hear their parents fighting. No child should have to live in a place where they feel scared and unsafe. In some cases, I know that families split apart, but I’m glad that our family stayed together.

I am grateful to my mom and dad for working out their differences. They have taught me that you have to work hard for what you really want in life. They worked hard to stay together for us. Now it’s my turn. I’m in 9th grade now and I’m getting all A’s and B’s. My parents are really proud of me. They see that I am not giving them trouble anymore like I used to in elementary and middle school. My home environment is a little more peaceful now and I feel better. I can actually concentrate more on my homework. I am working as hard as I can to make my parents proud of me. I have goals and I know that I will graduate from high school and go to college. Maybe someday I will be a doctor or a veterinarian. Either way, I know I will have my family with me, standing next to me and supporting me until the end.

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