Cool Ain't Always Healthy | Teen Ink

Cool Ain't Always Healthy

February 18, 2011
By Anonymous

January 10, 2009
Dear Diary,
Today I thought it was going to be a regular Monday, but little did I know that the Counselor, Ms. Correa, was going to enroll me in rehab at JLMS. This place is the size of a regular school and every kid that is found with or using drugs goes there. With big white and blue walls, with a mural of Marther Luther King on the walls. I tripped out about it when she told me. I had done some purple kush in the morning with some kids from my class. I was scared my mom was going find out, although I knew sooner or later she’ll find out.

It was 2:15 p.m. I was on my way to rehab. When I got there, I saw the police officer and got scared. The cop told us, the kids that were going to rehab that day to be ready to get our fingers pricked. I acted as if I had nothing to hide but inside I was asking “Why didn't they tell me I had this thing today!?” They pricked everyone’s finger. It’s my turn 20 minutes later the cop came back saying he has the results. I was a little scared. He said the names of the kids who passed the drug test, and I wasn't on that list. As a matter a fact ,I was on the list of kids that had done drugs. I was ashamed of myself.

He said, “Don't worry, kids, you will not be doing this stuff again so there’s nothing to be ashamed of!” He meant that we were going to get better.When the clock hit 2:50 p.m, rehab was over. I couldn’t have been any happier.

I went to kick it with Jackie and she asked me’ “Wanna smoke?”

I said “No thanks I have rehab tomorrow and they’re gonna check if I’ve been doing any sort of drug”,

After that, I left Jackie’s house. When I got home I was feeling kinda grumpy. I thought to myself, “Is it because I haven’t smoked?”

The feeling was killing me, so I called Jackie and asked her if she could bring me a joint.

She said, “For sure, I’ll be there in a minute’.”

I’m waiting for her now; hopefully she’ll show up soon.








Love,








Kimberly

* * * * * *

January 11, 2009
Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up in my bed next to Jackie. I don’t remember exactly what happened, just that she arrived at my house yesturday with two fat blunts and she gave one to me. At school today, I was so worried about getting my finger pricked! I was staring at the clock hoping it would go slow, but instead I saw it speed up?

Ms. Casasola told me, “Kimberly, it’s time for you to leave,” in a soft lovely voice. She thinks of herself like if she were Alicia Keys.

I thought, “This is bull****! I don’t need no f***ing rehab!”

Luckily, when I got to the rehab there was no finger pricking today. I said to myself in a very happy voice, “God, I’m lucky today!”

Time was running slow there was silence in that big dark room. I was hearing the clock tick-tock as it passed a minute. Finally out of rehab! My mom came and picked me up. I got home and started thinking about how stupid I was to do such stupid stuff I felt guilty, unworthy and very ashamed. I decided that I’m going to let that change, hopefully I do.

Love Kimberly

January 13, 2009
Oh Lovely Diary,

I haven’t smoked and I actually feel good about it, I feel relief without smoking it just doesn’t feel the same I feels weird but in a good way! I thought I wasn’t going to be able to do this but little by little I’m getting the hang of it and by the time you know it I would be out of this ishh!

Later on,
I saw Jackie she was wearing big baggie clothes she was with some cholas. She was blown, with red tired little eyes. Her eyes were rolling because of the pills and weed she smoked. She considers “homies” she’s said, “Hey n****, where the weed at?”

I just laughed and left. I knew if I had said yes it would’ve been a mistake.

April 14, 2009

Sorry diary I haven’t been writing in days but I’ve been really busy making up some work to get a better grade. I haven’t been smoking in this past months they try looking for me and convincing me to go back in smoking but I promised myself to not go back and till now I’ve accomplished it! I’m so proud of myself I thought I was never gone quit smoking it was hard. I still hang around with potheads and crackheads but I just talk to em while they smoke there butts off.

April 24, 2009

The day has come today was the last day of rehab, today I was gone know it I graduated from rehab. I’m so nervous did I pass this thing or not? I guess I will know till I have the class.

Time to go to rehab Ms.Casasola told me smiling, I just smiled and said; “ ill be there in bout 7 minutes” because that’s how long I take to get there. I walked as fast as I can but in my mind I was like “nah I’m not gonna pass” So I got there they was already giving the awards. I was nervous to not pass but at the same time I knew I was gonna make it cause I haven’t consumed any sort of drug.

I saw Jackie she looked all white I asked her, “What’s wrong?”

She’s like, “I’m not gonna pass this thing.”

“Why?” I asked.

She told me, “I was smoking a fat blunt outside.”

At that moment, the the p.o. started to shout names of those who received an award. He said, “Kimberly Soria.” I stood up and he gave me the white with gold letters and certificate with an award.

I learned that if you put all your effort and want to stop doing something that you know later on you going to regret, You have the ability to stop doing it and accomplish your goal. I wanted to be cool and smoke but from my mistakes I learned that you can really be unhealthy. Jackie is now in a bad situation and I got a little bit better and I am proud of that.






Sincerely,

Kimberly

The author's comments:
Its about my struggles and how being cool ain't always healthy.

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