Trust Through Communication

February 18, 2011
By Anonymous

Dear Mom and Dad,

To start, I want to say that I didn’t want to have a bad relationship with you. When I was younger, I always looked up to both of you as if you were my super heroes, because it seemed like you always made role model decisions and took care of me well. You guys were strong people and you still are. Mom, you always wear hoop earrings and sandals. You have an extremely loud laugh, especially when a joke is hilarious. Dad, you have abundant dark black hair that is wavy like the ocean. People are entertained by you because you are so funny. As I’m growing up though, it’s feels like we are disagreeing more and getting more distant.

Clearly, I started disappointing both of you in middle school, when my teachers would always call you and when you would see my grades. When I was having problems in school and you knew about them, I would anticipate your reaction. I knew that you were going to be frustrated and irritated. To be honest, I didn’t care then, but now I see how much stress I caused you. I hate getting into arguments with both of you because it bothers both you and me. That was when I realized that I really hurt you. I did not mean to be acting like that.

However, I just got extremely annoyed at what you had to tell me that I wanted to make you even angrier. You have caught me doing terrible things, and I guess you realized that I was not how you wanted me to be. I always felt lower than my brother and sister because they were the smart ones, with the good grades. Every time you and dad looked at my grades they were disappointing. It was a lot of pressure, and I didn’t want to fight anymore.

Besides, we all need to change because you need to stop over reacting so much and I need to control my emotions. I hope that nothing drastic happens to us to make us separate permanently. To my surprise, Mom, you’re trusting me a little more now because we had a talk. It was when we were arguing again, and Bam! I just slammed the door loudly and locked myself in the bedroom. I sat on my soft and warm bed, crying.

I thought to myself, “Why does this happen to me?”

Then you knocked on the door telling me to open it and I wouldn’t. After about ten minutes, I finally opened the door and I remember what I told you .
I shouted, “You need to trust me!”
You asked, “How can I trust you when I’ve found out all these things?”
I explained, “Because I learned my lesson already, I know what I shouldn’t do, but you just keep annoying me more saying all these stupid things.”

Mom, you stayed silent.
Then you responded quietly, “You know I say things I don’t mean...”
I interupted, “But lately you’ve been saying it too much.”
You replied, “Because I don’t want you getting hurt or anything.”
I told her, “Well you don’t have to keep an eye on me.”
You apologized,“I know, and I’m sorry.”
I told her,“It’s okay.”
You told me,“I’m glad you told me this because this is how we’re supposed to communicate.”
“Yeah I know,” I said.
You told me,“Okay well, I’m trusting you more now.”
I finally said, “Thanks, Mom.”

Therefore, I realized that instead of fighting with you or anybody else over every tiny issue, I should talk it out and try to solve the problem. It works out way better than fighting. I am grateful for you and my family, because I know not everybody has food or a roof to live under. I am very thankful for both of you, Mom and Dad.



The author's comments:
This is a letter I dedicated to my parents. I was disappointing them a lot, and making the wrong decisions. We are working on our problems, and have been communication more. We still have fights here and there, but we learn to get through it.

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