a past of nothing but pain

February 2, 2011
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in the past you have caused me much pain. you broke my heart and made my eyes fill up with tears.my voice whined as my my breath staggerred while i tried to stop this feeling. the worst pain of all was your death. when somones heart has been broken or hurt it always heals! your death was like my life had fadeed into the dark shadows of another world we will never meet until fate comes to get us. the thoughts and dreams of you still being alive made me smile and feel nothing but happiness. unfortuantly reality knocked on my door and told me your gone and never coming back. everyday i would cry with staggering and gasping breaths begging to see you just one last time...i hear a voice in my head telling me "he may be dead he will always be with you and watching over you each and everyday."...."he is gone but he feels what you have for him.

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Writer12 said...
Feb. 20, 2011 at 8:05 pm

its obvious that there is alot of emotion in here. i feel as though if you would have cahnged it a little bit, it would've made a much nicer poem rather then a story.


vail09 replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 6:31 pm
thanks for commetting...i didnt have much time to edit for th fact i did this at school.
Oozeworld said...
Feb. 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Feels very real and emotional, though I'd prefer some capitalization and punctuation.
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