Crushed

By , Portola Valley, CA
My phone vibrated. My heart fluttered, just like it always did whenever I heard that little buzzing sound. The familiar reel of questions began scrolling through my head. Was it him? Did he actually text me? Could this be the text I've been waiting for? The one that will decide my state of happiness for next Saturday, and quite possibly the rest of the year? Slowly, I pulled my phone from my pocket, took a deep breath, and flipped it open. I had a text from... Henry. Of course. Its always Henry.

Sighing, I opened the message. And then, my heart stopped. There they were. The words I had been dreading for months. Right there in front of me on the tiny screen.



Did you hear about Jake and Laura?



Did I hear about Jake and Laura. Did you hear about Jake and Laura. Jake and Laura. Did you hear. Jake and Laura... Shit.

I stared at the words for just a minute longer, allowing the words to spin and echo around my head, making me feel dizzy. Then suddenly, I was up, slamming my cell phone closed and racing across the room to my laptop.

Once there, I raced to get facebook open, all the while feeling as though my chest was being squeezed in the iron grip of a giant. As soon as facebook home page loaded, I scanned the list of my friends who were online.

I just couldn't believe it. How could he do this to me? After all this time, why would he ask her? Shit. Shit. Shit.

I needed to talk to one of my friends, get a firm confirmation that it was true. Jesus, you miss one day of school because of illness, and this happens!

Feverishly, I opened a new chat window with my friend Mary, knowing that she would know exactly what's going on.


Me: dude. what the hell is going on? if this is true: flirting should be made illegal.

Mary: what are you talking about?

Me: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH JAKE??

Mary: you mean the whole deal about him and laura and formal?

Me: yea. i was sick today. whats going on?

Mary: hes taking her to formal


I felt my body go limp. My eyes closed. My heart ached.

After all this time, nearly four months, I let myself believe that I actually had a chance. I had a chance at happiness, happiness with Jake.


Mary: you ok?

Me: yeah, except for that fact that he has been hard core flirting with me for THREE WHOLE WEEKS.

Mary: i dont think he actually has. he just thinks that teasing you is amusing i think.

...

look, i talked to him, and he said that he just wants to be friends with you.


Oh great. Now, not only was Jake going to formal with Laura, while I am stuck sitting at home like a looser watching tennis with my parents while all my other friends go off to formal, now Jake actually knows that I like him because Mary had to go talk to him and pretty much tell him everything. Great. Through all this pain and resentment and confusion and hurt, rose another question. One more threatening and sinister than any other.

What the hell was I supposed to do now?

As though from a long distance away, I heard a beeping sound from my computer, telling me that I had a new message.


Mary: im sry


Me: im fine


I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Well, it's almost the truth.





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