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A Walk by Faith
Faith, faith is something that many of us follow, but we cannot see. As we follow the strong faith we have in our God, either Christianity or not, we follow something that has changed our lives. As we walk by faith, not by our own sight, we walk in a path of light. We walk in a path that has given us a strong connection to the Lord, our God. As we walk by our own sight, we begin to weaken in life, and we fall. Many of us lie there, refusing help from the Lord. As refuse help, we weaken even more, and begin to fall apart. Just like I did early in my path of life.
I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. I grew in Hazleton, Pennsylvania. My family was Lutheran, but we didn’t really go to church. I grew up not knowing the amazing power of God. I was confused and I didn’t know much. My parents divorced at an early age, and I constantly moved from relative to relative. Sometimes, I think no one wanted me when I was younger. I still have that as an unsolved question.
When I was three in early July, my cousin accidentally pushed me out of a two story window. I landed head first onto the cement ground. Crack my head causing me to bleed. I was quick rushed to Geisinger Medicial Center and Children’s hospital in Danville, Pennsylvania. I was life flighted. As I was told, my family thought I was dead. The doctor’s thought I was dead as well, but as my pop pop told me “As I was falling, I was touched by the hand of God.” After the surgery, I was alive, and it was fully successful. That was my first miracle from God.
As I was growing up, I still didn’t know God. I was harassed in elementary school and middle school. I truly didn’t have any trusting friends. I had strong trust issues not knowing what to do. In middle school, my depression began building up. I use to sit in my room alone not wanting to do anything in life. I began cutting and harming myself in eighth grade. Some students even encouraged me into harming myself. It is a shame on what I did in my past.
In high school, the harassment dimmed down a bit. I really didn’t harm myself a lot. I did some, but truly not a lot. I fell into a crowd of this is the year love and lust began to consume my mind as well. friends who hated God. They hated God with a passion, and I wound up in that group. I began using profanity like it was my best friend. I began cutting even more serious at the end of ninth grade.
My tenth grade year was okay with the fist two months. At the end of October, 2007, my life went into turmoil. I began to try to fit into the “emo” click at the high school. I began wear tight clothes and also make up. I began wearing only dark colors and not caring what people thought of me. My mom decided it was best if the family moved to Easley, South Carolina. After she told us that, my teenage rebellion sky rocketed. Also, I began swearing more than ever.
In 2008, I began cutting myself. I also tried to overdose with pills and alcohol. I wanted my life to end, because I stopped caring about life. I use to cut my arm open so much that blood use to flow out of arms. I use to start painting with them on paper for fun. I also use to pass out with the loss of blood. I didn’t know why, but after I woke up, my cuts use to be healed, and I woke up alive.
In February, 2008, I began worshipping Satan. I use to ask Satan to consume my life with sin and pain. I wanted to die. I really didn’t care to go to hell. I use to also go to my friends houses, and we use to have cutting parties. Those use to give me enjoyment and excitement, but afterwards I was in so much pain I use to drink alcohol and take pills to hide the pain.
On February 28, 2009, I was sent to a rehab center for almost jumping out a window at my high school. I was there for twenty-four days. When I was there, someone gave me a bible verse after I shared them my story. It read: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” It was 1st Corinthians 10:13. Even though I strongly didn’t care for God at that time, that bible verse stuck to me my entire visit at the rehab center.
March, 23, 2008, I left the rehab center. On Easter day, I left to South Carolina. My mom and family already left to the state. I went down to meet up with them. Around 11pm that night, I arrived at the Greenville/Spartanburg International Airport. I met with my mom, and I left to Easley. It was a heavy feeling for me.
My family decided to go to a church in Powdersville, South Carolina, Marathon Church. I went with them, but I really didn’t want to be there. I didn’t pray or anything at the church. Just sat there waiting for it to end. I stopped going to Marathon After the third time.
I began my old ways the day after I moved down. The stress got to me and I couldn’t take it. I started cutting, swearing, drinking, and wanting to kill myself. The rehab center really didn’t do much to help. I began worshipping Satan again as will.
I started school again at Easley High School. I brought my old ways of life at my new school. I met new people, but after learning who I was, they didn’t want to hang or talk to me. I was hurt. After people began doing that, I got worse in cutting. I started harming myself in school. People offered for to go to church, but I turned it down. I didn’t want God to pull me down as I thought.
I began dating a girl who was going to be a freshmen the following year. I thought she was going to help me, but she wound up hurting me. It was terrible. With the pain, I pulled an immature act. I threw my backpack, and it hit a guidance counselor. I was taken to the police station in Easley and out under a PTI program. After that, I was sent to the Greenville Memorial Hospital. I spent a few days there.
With those days I had to think, I thought about all I was doing. I was thinking on what the heck was going on in my mind. I was also thinking on how to change my ways. I didn’t know how to though. The doctors put me on a medicine to help my illness as well in the hospital.
As I left the hospital, a few days later, a friend asked me to go to her house, and so I did. As we hung out, she asked me to go to her church, because she was worried for me. I told I promise to go for one night to see how it was like. Her whole family was welcoming of me going with them on a Wednesday night service.
As I went to the church, I was a little uncomfortable at first. I was a big group of Christians. They all welcomed me as I passed by in the gymnasium. I was a positive thought in my mind. I actually liked the church.
As the praise band was playing, we had prayer time. I felt an amazing feeling in my heart. I told me to go to the alter and prayer. As so, I did. As I was up there, the youth pastor, Matthew Suttle, began praying with me. I began crying. I didn’t know what was going on, but it was actually the power of the Holy Ghost working through me. On May 21, 2008, in the gymnasium of the Easley Church of God in Easley, South Carolina, I was saved. My first time going to church and actually liking it I was saved!
That moment on, I put all of what consumed my mind as sin was in the past. No more chains! No more shackles! No more Bondage! I was freed with the power of the power spirit! I began living a life of God. It was a wonderful feeling to live for the creator of us all.
I began preaching at school and to my friends who didn’t know Him. I was harassed, persecuted, and put down for spreading the word of God. I was sad, but yet I was happy for attempting to share the word of God. I even tried to get my family to go to church, but they refused.
In November, 2008, I was baptized at the Easley Church of God, and In January, 2009, I became a member of the Easley Church of God family. Those were also other two milestones of my life in the church. I was just so happy for that!