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My Farm: From Horses to Gluing Mom’s Butt to a Tree Stump

There is a small farm called Rainbows End Ranch where my family and I live. The farm has been around for some 100 years but we have only lived here for 16 years and I must say that we have our moments. My old dog duke loved this place and had a lot of fun finding new things to roll in from cow to bear crap and oh did mom get mad every time he came into the house with the expression, Look at me mamma I smell good. That dog caused more problems sometimes like when he ate the remote to the TV and when he bark he changed the channels, we all found it amusing until it came out the other end and someone had to clean it. When we first moved up here we lived in the original farm house until my dad was done building the new house and oh was the farm house fun. Our first storm hit right after we moved in when I was 4 and I remember my dad out holding the roof together and praying to god that he wouldn’t get hit by lighting. When the storm cleared in the morning we found dad passed out on the roof holding the tarp down with his body weight. My brother and I had more fun in that little house because of the bats in the sealing to the rain that leak in the bedroom but after a few months mom was sick of the farm house and told dad to finish the new house ASAP.

During construction of our new house mom was standing in the garage part of the house and decided to speak before thinking. There was another storm coming and with heavy rains on their way, mom thought we should put the windows in so the rain won’t come in, but there was one thing missing she forgot about, the roof wasn’t on. When dad looked up he soon realized that she had just made his day and the family’s new joke. A few months later we were putting in the kitchen floor and mom who is not having the best run of luck glued her knees to the floor. The site was funny until the glue set and we had to peal her of the floor. Her run of luck was continuing when she was cleaning the bathroom floor and hit a small patch of water and launched out of the bathroom at mock two going across the hallway into the closet and thus requiring fifteen stitches. That summer was not the greatest summer for us but the hospital really loved us. The first trip was mom with the bathroom slide next was me when Jason cut my finger of with pruning shears and my mom’s best friend cutting her finger off. As the months go by we seemed safe but when the next summer hit all hell broke loose. First my brother and I were racing down our hill and I ran into a power pole and broke my whole right arm, second was when dad was getting ready for bowling one morning and forgot to put the break on in his truck and a few seconds later there was a truck in our dining room with a lot of colorful words coming from dads mouth.

When the house was done we decided to log the lower pasture so the horses would have more room to run, but to our surprise mom did another moment. When everything was done she saw a nice dark stump but to her surprise it wasn’t dark because of the shade it was dark from sap. When she finally pealed her butt off the stump she waddled up to the house to then get herself stuck to the toilet and the only thing in reach was nail polish remover. When she was finished she waddled back down the tree stump and found that dad had initialed her name in the stump to remember her favorite stump. My horses have a great with the family and fall right in line with the crazy stuff we do. My horse snickers can get confused sometimes and is not the brightest sometimes, one day I was going out to ride and found that my horse had high centered himself on a tree and couldn’t get off. That tree never grew straight after that, Iko my donkey has his moments too like when he was running in the snow last year and fell all the way down the 5 acre hill he’s fine but doesn’t run in the snow anymore. Well the times are filled with laughter and good fun but everything must come to an end just like this story. I hope that there will be many more stories to write but for now Rainbows end ranch lies quiet and relaxed.





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