It was the winter of 2005. My grandmother has had her second stroke. This time wasn’t as lucky as the first stroke she had.
“Shaq, your grandma is in the hospital again and it doesn’t look too good,”
my mother said to me. I was only 11 years old when I was told this. I was sad to hear something like that and scared for my grandma. Not knowing what was going to happen to her, I prayed everyday that she would be okay. My grandma was in the hospital for weeks. Everyday she was there, my family would be right next to her or waiting in the waiting room. Its December 20th, five days before Christmas, and this is the day everything changed.

December 20th 2005 was the saddest day of my life. My family and I were at St. Joseph hospital waiting in the waiting room for hours, while the doctors operated and ran a few tests on my grandma. Its about 7:00 in the evening and the doctor that was working on my grandma pulls my mom, all of my aunts, and my uncle to the side. My older cousin Kisha and I were eavesdropping only to hear that my grandma didn’t make it and everyone’s mouth dropped as tears rushed down their faces. My eyes watered up as well and I was so crushed that while I was crying I stopped breathing for a moment. After that day, everything started to fall apart. My family wasn’t the same anymore.


My grandma was the glue that kept my family together. Now that she’s gone, my family has fallen apart. All of our family gatherings are boring and unorganized, and we barely get along. Some people in my family don’t even bother to come to our family get togethers or even come to visit every once in a while. Everyone’s stubborn, careless, stingy, and inconsiderate now. It makes no sense to me.

Its been hard without my grandma. I miss hearing my grandma say
“Girl, stop jumping on that bed!” or “Get your butt over here!”
My grandma always used to yell at me, but I was her favorite grandchild. She used to call me Pookey and I hated that name, but I would give anything just to hear her call me that name one last time. My life has changed a lot since she past away. My grandma used to spoil me and she was my backbone. Even though I still get spoiled by my mom, I’ve learned to be more independent and a leader rather than a follower.

Since that day I have changed a lot, and it has made me the strong-minded person that I am today. I’m not that sweet, nice, playful little girl everyone used to be in love with anymore. I feel as if I cant trust anyone and I’m afraid to let anyone see me cry. I don’t want people to get the impression that I’m weak. Although I might have a tough exterior, my interior is still somewhat soft and I do care about the little things deep down inside. I am proud to be able to carry her name though, sometimes it makes me feel like apart of her is still here.