Need, Acute to the Point of Pain

January 10, 2011
By Anonymous

Ive been in love for over four years, with the man that stole my heart with one glance. I met him in elementary school where I knew no one, and wanted no one. I was a closed and welded shut. He talked to me like I was more than the over weight, unpopular, odd person I was. He saw beneath the shield that I was accustomed to keeping up. We stayed friends for years, but eventually faded because of our age difference and school systems. But there was always a void. I filled it with boys, after I had grown into my body, and become what they thought was beauty. They didnt know how ugly and damaged my interior was. I was broken and believed that no one would ever truly love me. But I stayed with the jock type who would only last a month or two before I got bored and wanted a new challenge.

And then I saw him. He was there and gleaming with perfection. All the girls couldnt help but watch him. He was on stage playing his guitar. When I walked through the doors in my floor length, black silk gown, he stared. He wouldnt take his eyes off of me. Maybe afraid it wasnt real or maybe because I was beautiful for the first time in many years. When he finished his song, he walked up to me and without any words, he put his hands on my waist and we danced. I leaned my head on his chest. I was listening to our hearts beating in perfect time. We were swirling in a tiny circle, not listening to the music coming out of the speakers. We didnt look at each other for three songs. When the fourth one started he leaned down and whispered in my ear if I wanted to get out of here. I grabbed my coat and nodded all in one gesture. He took my hand and brought me to his car. We drove for what seemed like days and we ended up on that playground where we had first met. We started talking.
"Where have you been?", he said.

"I've been living. Trying to find a way to let people in. You know everybody who didnt try as hard as you."

As soon as I said that he gave into temptation and practically threw his hands in the air. He pulled me by my waist, now pressing against him. He looked at me and said, "Before we do anything, you have to know this. Im not some guy trying to get you. Your not a game or some challenge. I saw you before you became this new person."
And in that moment I knew no boy could love me like he could. So I stretched up onto my toes, in my four inch heels, and I said, "Im the same person. I promise." And with the last syllable of my final word, I was swept into the arms of the one man who always got me, and always loved me.

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