As a human being my most natural instinct is to seek happiness, whether it be temporary or the falsehood of everlasting happiness. It is our addiction that we so voraciously seek. The heroin in our needles, the wine in our glass, our hope.

Hope is the foundation of happiness. Since our own happiness is so specifically ours, it has our many ideas and thoughts, we often search too hard for it. In the end, we either lose our hope or come to terms that our expectations will always precede the idea of a paradise or one of life’s few diamond like gifts. We will endure great pains and sorrows to gain any sign that a felicity is on the horizon.


It’s almost sad to me that someone would look so hard for something to make them happy. The world is a cruel place and we’re here only to lose to her vicious little games and tricks. If you go in search, the world will hide it from you as a small boy hides his unexplainable retching feelings of affection for a girl. Only it is not out of shyness and unknowingness, but out of the excessive abuse of power in controlling everything!

You can read into a persons thoughts and feelings easier than one might think. It is even easier to read into the thoughts of a man you have no connection with. We are not used to the masks and dress of fake emotions they wear so it is more easily detectable.
I was sitting on a park bench on a lovely Saturday evening when I saw a very common sight; the only difference being that now I am internally investigating and interrogating myself on the subject at hand. A young woman no older than 25 or 26 sat on an adjacent bench watching as I was, but with a very uplifting smile. She seemed to be anxious of something which I was oblivious too in that moment. A short while later I spotted a young man roughly the same age, but with a grave look that only the dead claim as there own. In seeing him, the young woman’s face lit up even more! He approached her and sat beside her with the same grave expression as he appeared with. They sat together only a few minutes and held a conversation. Although I knew nothing about what it was, I could divulge from her brightened face setting, fading away as the sun, that it was as grave as the man’s expression.


Eventually, he gave her a feeble embrace and got up without looking back. The clouds in her eyes formed as her eyes were flooded with tears! I would’ve thought that if she kept up such a pace of tears she would surely shrivel up as a dried out pepper or sweep me away under the river of tears. I was curious as to the whole happening that had just unfolded so I stood up and walked across to her bench. I sat down next to her as she cried and immediately, as if by some miracle, her face was dry and looked as though the sun had risen again. “What a curious sight!” I said to myself. Calmly though, I turned to her and pierced my senses through her eyes and read her every thought. She was saying on the inside, “The day is ruined! the week! my life is ruined! a pillar that I had stood on has fallen! My life, now infernally in flames! what will I do!” I next asked her, “What happened?” she replied, “Nothing! The business is of no importance! I am fine!” Thought we both knew that her heart had just been ripped from her and replaced with the heaviest stone. Knowing this, I continued, “What will you do next?” Now she had replaced her mask of happiness with the real, hideous sight of a hopeless soul and soothingly said, “I will go home, undress and sleep. I will sleep for days until my soul has returned to me from the grave and it’s infinite mourning.” With that, I gave her my deepest, most dear wishes and left with more hunger than ever for an answer to my mystery.
Later that night as drowsiness took more and more of a hold of me, The solution came sweeping into me with a truly grandeur entrance! “How do we escape the fatal sorrowful agonies and atrocities of life while still holding on to any happiness?” There is no correct answer to this most puzzling question, but there is something very close to it.
It is a common thought, to think that the answer is death, but no. Death is not so sweet, as it can seem in a hypothetical world where optimism is the feeling of choice. Death is a harsh, terrible, fearful thing that we do not fully understand and never will until ourselves are are put into that situation. Close as it is, death is too strong of an occurrence to be the answer. It is..
Eternal sleep. The mind and soul can come to terms with anything, and rest in actual peace, if we could eternally sleep. There can be no evil done to us, nor can we commit the act. We cannot feel anything but the slow, constant, lull of balance. this brings ease to one’s mind. This is peace.