she tells me to stay in the room
the same words always came out my mouth
"but why mom"
and she would always say
"becuase i have some buisness i have to handel"
i would always be their begging
"mom please dont leave me here"
yet still always got the same response
"if i dont do it we wont have food in the fridge"
and then i would say
"mom please dont do it i hate seeing you do this stuff"
and the same words i heard that i always wished would come true were
"i promise its the last time"
she leaves walks out the door
then the nest morning she comes back
4bags in each hand
a little extra money to spend
a guy follows behind her
its the same b****** that paid her
the same a** hole who wants my mom to leave me alone with him
wants me to stay behind
they kiss
my heart fills with hatred and discuss
why does she use herself like this?
then she walks out the door
im in the bed sitting their watching my favorite show
all i feel are large warm hands pressing agaisnt my body
the next feeling i feel is my heart dropping down to my stomach
i remember trying to use all my strength to make him let go of me
then i feel pain
i cry but nothing helps
i dont have a choice but to let him finish
then hes done
he puts his cloths back on and leaves
my mom comes in
she sees me crying
she comes and hugs me
promises me it will never happen again
but it does
im just their left overs
theirs tip jar
yet they get pleasure from me without having to leave money
they do it because they know they wont get caught
they know i cant do anything but lust lay their and let them do it
so they do
i hatted it knew everytime it was going to happen
finally i was strong enough to not let it happen
then i left
never had to go through that s*** again
never will