How are you a factor?

December 19, 2010
When I am around you I can’t put my thoughts together, I get so excited like a kid entering a candy store. At times when you speak to me I open my mouth and prayed my voice still work. My eyes focus on your lips when you speak and return to your eyes than to your lips. Your lips bring chills down my spine a chill I can’t resist but I have too because your lips are forbidden fruits.
Fruits I so long to have, but a wall keep me apart from touching it, so I close my eyes hopping the desire to be yours, to be hold by you, and to be loved by you would go away however the feeling is stronger than ever and it kills me. Because I get nervous when you come around like it’s the first time I am seeing you. I know nothing good could come from my attraction to you, but I just can’t stop wanting you.
I want you to know that I really like you and want to be with you, without having to care what people have to say and by the way I am waiting on you. I am waiting for you to say come and be my love, I know you are not perfect but I like you just the way you are.
I care for you to a point where I am skating on thin ice with you every day; the popping and cracking of the breaking sound continues and it get louder and louder but I still skate toward the edge and one day I know I will sink in pain because nothing good could come from my attraction to you but I can’t help myself. But I have too because there’s someone in the picture already.
There’s already a girl you gave your heart, your time, and your patience to, who am I to take it away? and every time I see her with you I have to swallow my frustration because I know you care for her because if you didn’t you wouldn’t be so close to her practically breathing her air. Knowing she is holding someone I desire to hold kill me and knowing she kissing you and showing you love bury me six feet deep. And the last thing I need at this particular moment is to fall in Love with someone like you.
I hate the stars because when I look at them within a moment I would think of you, I would get lost in your conversation even though they make no sense to me but since it’s coming from you it’s like music to my ears. I hear you laugh when you text me L.O.L and that’s tragic.
So what happens when you’re my prince charming, but I am not your Cinderella? Where do I go from there? I really don’t know but I always thought people were stupid when they say “You're the first thing I think of each morning when I rise, you’re the last thing I think of when I close my eyes.” Well call me stupid because it have happened t o me. I like you so much I see you in every passing face, my feelings for you are growing stronger with every move you make and I just don’t want to fall in love because the hunger for you is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
That why I avoid you, I avoid you because there is this feeling that comes with the feeling I am feeling right now and I hate this feeling, it's one I know all too well, it's a thing called heartbreak and it hurts like hell.

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