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Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
I stepped off the chipped curb and looked down both sides of the street. I quickly stepped across the black pavement, dodging cars and yellow taxis on the way. Living in New York City all my life made it easy for me to cross the street when I wasn’t suppose to. But, I was in a rush. Even though I was forty-five minutes earlier than I needed to be, I was anxious. I was taking the entrance exam for ESA or East Side Academy. It was one of the most prestigious schools in all of New York. I was a hard worker, something I had learned from my dad and if I got into this school, I could prove I was just as good as my sister, maybe even better. My sister, Emily had gone to WSA, West Side Academy. This was an amazing school but not as good as ESA. I applied to both but if I could just get into here, maybe my parents would see I have the same talent as Emily. She is at Harvard now to become a lawyer so she is hard to live up to.
I stopped in front of the place I was going to be going a year from now. That would be if I got in but I had no doubt that with my grades and activities I would get in. I pulled at the tall metal door and a rush of wind hit my face. It was beautiful in here. The classrooms were enormous and the science labs were professional, not that I really cared because science is one of my least favorite subjects. I came up to room 45, a Spanish room where I would be taking the test. I opened the door and all the eyes of the eager students looked up at me. I thought I would be the first person but these people obviously needed to get into this school much more than I did. I slid into my seat and placed my bag down. Time sped by and before I knew the proctor was passing out the tests. I filled in the name bubbles, J U L I E. For a moment I almost forgot how to spell my name.
I prepared myself for the test but something crossed my mind. Why was I truly here? Was it for me or was it just to prove something? The truth is, the only reason I was here was to prove I was better than my sister, but who was I trying to prove this to, my parents or myself? At that very moment I realized something. I did not want to come to this school. My dream was to become an artist. I loved painting, drawing and making creations. But, I had always told myself that it would show people I didn’t want to succeed and I didn’t want to be great. At that very moment, I realized that being what I wanted to be was good enough and I shouldn’t have anything to prove to any one. I stood up from my desk, grabbed my bag and walked out of the room. I knew the decision I had just made would be tough to get though but I had no regrets. I walked down the streets of my city, I had my head up and I was prepared for everything that would come my way. My parents would never approve of this, leaving a school that would give me so much opportunity, to chase my true dreams. But, isn’t that how it’s suppose to be? Isn’t life suppose to be exactly what we want, or close to what we want? We should at least be able to try for the life we want, instead of the one that other people want. Well, at least that’s what I think. I should be able to become an artist and that is exactly what I am going to do.
I stopped in front on NYSA, New York School of the Arts. This school was good, but not nearly as prestigious as the last one. I knew I could easily get in but the only thought in the back of my mind and the only regret I did have was my sister. Coming here would make her seem like a better daughter and a better person all together. This began to worry me, had I just made a horrible decision? The true consequence of my decision hit me but this was a key moment when I realized something that would change my life forever.
I am proving to be much better than my sister because I am choosing what I want in my life. I am carving my own path and to be honest that is much more difficult than walking down a path that has already been made for you.
I peered up at the black door that would lead to my family’s three-story apartment. This was the moment that I would face my parents. It was today or never. I reached my hand out and turned the knob. I made my way into the kitchen where my Mom was chopping carrots. I stood in the doorway, waiting for my Mom to turn around. The chop, chop, chop of the carrots being cut made me jump each time. When the chopping stopped, I knew my mom had noticed me.
“Oh, Julie. What are you doing home? The test couldn’t have been that easy,” My mom said to me.
“I didn’t take the test,” I responded bluntly.
“What do you mean you didn’t take the test, it was cancelled you mean, right?” She asked me, the worst was yet to come.
“No, it wasn’t cancelled. I don’t want to go there I am going to apply to NYSA because I-I- I want to be an artist,” I held my breath for what was coming.
“Oh, well. I guess that’s okay sweetie. I mean that’s a pretty good school but I thought you loved ESA?” This response extremely surprised me.
“No, I love art. Mom, you know that,” I answered.
“Yes I do know that but do you really think this is the best choice for you,” This was more like my Mom.
“Yes, I do think it’s the best choice because it’s my choice.”
My mom smiled, “That’s actually very refreshing. I am proud of you, yes, I am proud of you.” This was one of the best things I have ever heard.
“Thanks mom,” I responded and made my way upstairs. I laid down on my bed and began to fall asleep but I already felt like I was in a dream.