You Changed Me

December 20, 2010
By Anonymous

You changed me forever. You showed me how not to trust people so easily. The day I met you was just a normal day. But the day we hung out was the day I will never forget. I was 13, you where 17. You told me to trust you. You told me that it will be ok. You told me you were going to do it. You told me how I would feel after. But not once did you ask what I wanted. You claimed that I was too young to understand what was happening. You told me many lies.
I was 13 but I knew what was going to happen. I knew I had no way to stop it. I know that "it" is unbeatable with you. "It" was RAPE. When I was younger it happened to be several times. But I was told it was a "game." I was little I didn’t know any better. But as I grew up I learned what rape what and how anyone can be a victim. The day you raped me was truly the day that changed me forever. I remember your scent on me. I remember the pressure you put on my hands. I still have the scar you gave me on my stomach. The way you looked at me is still burning in my mind. I laid in your bed trying to scream for help. But it was just silent crys. I tried to escape but couldn't. All I wanted was to fall asleep. It may sound silly but I hoped that I would fall asleep and when I woke up it would all be just a bad dream.
I saw sadly mistaken. I never felt so dirty before. When you finally let me out of your reach I ran to your sister’s room and cried. I heard my name being called so I slowly went to the door praying it wouldn’t happen again. You grabbed me and started kissing me. I made a mistake and slapped you. In the end I was all bruised up. Lucky not to have a broken bone in my body, you took me home. And told me not to tell anyone about what happened. I listened but didn’t follow your rules. Few months passed and I told the story. I never understood why people say "you will always feel better when you get it off your chest." I felt the exact opposite. I felt as if I just got the whole world thrown on my shoulders. Not a day passes by that I don’t think of you. I pass your house when I go to vist my sister, and every time I see your house I want to cry. WHY WOULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU?

The author's comments:
this truly did happen to me. I was inspired by my thoughts that don't wanna shut up around this time of year.

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