Moving On

December 19, 2010
I sit on this large porch of this beautiful 22 year old house, still in good shape and the best house I’ve ever lived in. I get up and come to my senses that I’ll be leaving in just a couple of days, so I shouldn’t be pouting around and sobbing. I should be filling my emotions with the last scents of this stunning, lovely open land and pond where I use to go every morning to relax myself. I breathe in the fresh air and begin to walk back to my house, my mind freezes and I go into flashback mode; the running and playing in the snow, Christmas, Thanksgiving with the whole family, sitting next to the bonfire, playing soccer in the yard with my little brother, relaxing down at the pond, playing kickball with the family, running away from my brother who’s trying to scare me with a bug, friends coming over, my sisters’ prom with a big Hummer limo in our front yard, and the last thing that goes into my mind is all the goodbyes to the people I cared dearly about. My head spins, I look up at the sky and “POOF” back to reality. I reach the house and I sneak a peek inside and practically everything is packed. In just a few days, we would be on our way to the journey I never expected to come.
The soft Kleenex soaks up my gloomy eyes, I’m pretty sure I at least had to use 10 tissues to stop the repeating crying. Packed in the truck with my parents, my brother Zach and my dog Boa, I silently watch the house disappear behind the tall trees, and I wordlessly whisper goodbye to the house that built me. I give a smile and yet another tear drops from my face. Behind us are the other two cars with my brothers and sisters, they slowly follow behind and the memories looking back at the house vanish. Trying to catch a breath and accept the drowning pain that I was in, I reluctantly fall asleep to at least try to get things off my mind. I listen to the music that makes me feel better and my eyes slowly drift off to the back of my head.
I wake up; realizing that were stopped at a hotel, waiting for my dad to come out. It’s 12 am and everyone’s tired trying to keep awake. My dad finally comes out and had found a hotel that is pet friendly. Dragging myself to a nice cozy looking bed I plop myself onto the bed not wanting to do anything but to just lay there and zone out. I already had my sleep but I just want to think for a moment of the rest to come. We made it to Canada and it has already been a very time-consuming road trip. I tell myself that it’ll be over soon and nobody will have to worry about anything.
Were on the road again and my brother sitting next to me is singing like he just got the new Xbox 360 Kinect. I don’t know where he gets his energy but I find it hard to resist not smiling and laughing. My dad’s eyes are red, as if he just got a shot in his eye; obviously he is exhausted and stressed. My mom is in the passenger seat with a pillow in her face and closing her eyes, blocking her from seeing the driving on the highway. A couple of arguments and disagreements occur from the overload with stress but that’s just the beauty of the world we know. I put my headphones on again and begin to do a Sudoku puzzle to distract me from overhearing them talk. Seems like that’s what I do all the time so I don’t have to listen to anything I don’t want to hear.

Awoken by the sound of the bumpy road; hard, loud and kind of aggravating, my brother and I both lost in our thoughts, stretch and glance out the window and feel the soreness to our butts from sitting way to long begins to make us slightly tense. We begin to realize and become stunned by what we are surrounded by; the beautiful Alaska Highway. We’ve been on this road too long, so we take a break. Stopped at a gas station that is rundown and grubby, I begin to grow unsure whether to get out or not. I decide oh well, it’s a gas station and I need to go to the bathroom or I will not make it through the rest of the trip today. My stomach growls, telling me that I’m hungry but I don’t feel hungry. I argue to myself whether I should eat something or not but I feel to repellent to even think about anything; I guess you could call it carsick or homesick.

Refreshed, I lean on my dog Boa and look at my dad, I wonder how he feels, he’s been driving this truck with a monstrous 24 foot trailer tagged along for however long we’ve been on this road. I put my head on the window and watch the trees go by too numerous to count so I just fantasize this house that my mom has frequently been talking about. We’re getting so close that I tried to decide whether to be happy or not. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like but whatever happens, happens. My heart begins to pound faster than a cross country runner that just got done running a marathon. My mind is filled with thoughts that I feel like I can’t catch a breath. I wish I could just freeze time and think so that everything is clear but nothing in my life is clear.

I open my eyes, blinking to wake up; it’s bright outside forcing my eyes to just automatically open. Struggling to get up the driveway with this 7, 000 pound trailer, we’ve made it and in front of us there is a house with glorious tall windows and a backyard with wonderful tall trees. I jump out of the truck, running with an actual smile on my face that has been needed for a while. I open the gate and reach the front door; I put my hand on the doorknob. I open the door and here my life begins again.

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