I Am Not Air

December 17, 2010
By Anonymous

What’s the point of changing my myself. Changing my hair. Changing my dress. I say I don’t dress for guys. I say I don’t care, but I do. I’m just like everybody else. I’ve changed myself and lost all my friends. I say it’s only temporary, but what if I get out of high school and nobody likes me. What if I never have friends? What if nobody ever loves me? I’ll go through life and never be important to anyone. I’m stuck and everybody’s moving. People are happy. People make other people happy. Why can’t I be happy? I hate winter. I hate my school. I hate myself for being so awkward. I hate that a guy has never loved me. I fear that a guy will never look at me and feel special because there is no one else like me. I am just like everybody else. I worry about stupid things like not going to prom or grad night because I have no friends. I sit in the library everyday at snack because I can’t communicate. People talk to me in class, but they don’t care or even think twice about me. I’m stuck and everybody’s moving. I’m stuck and everybody’s moving. I’m stuck and everybody’s happy. I put things into my head; stuff that will never come true. He’ll never like me because he likes some other girl. They probably talk about music and the world. I want that. I can talk about music and the world. People see through me like I’m air. It’s there, but nobody notices it. I’m air. I am not good enough to be air. Maybe I want to be forgotten. I am the one pushing people away. If I just close my eyes. If I just stop listening maybe I will wake up a year from in a place …

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