One of the darkest times in my life was my 10th grade school year. I lost over ten people that I truly cared about within five months. Some hit me harder than others though. The first one was Jimmy. The second one was Mrs. Amanda Burns. These are two people that I cried a long time for. Even to this day there is not a night that I do not lay in bed and cry.

Jimmy composed a song called “Fiction” all on his own. He gave it to his best friend that he knew since he was little on December 25, 2009. Three days later Jimmy’s wife found Jimmy dead in his home. It was labeled as a natural death after the autopsy, but further tests showed that he had overdosed. I found out that he had died not too long after his wife found his body. I had always expected Jimmy to pass on from a drug related issue, but I never knew this day would come so soon. In his song that he wrote, Jimmy says, “Now I think I understand how this world can overcome a man. Like a friend we saw it through. In the end I gave my life for you. Gave you all I had to give. Found a place for me to rest my head. While I may be hard to find, I heard there’s peace just on the other side. Left this life to set me free, took a piece of you inside of me. All this hurt can finally fade, promise me you’ll never feel afraid.” It was a suicide. I miss Jimmy so much, but he said, “I hope it’s worth it, what’s left behind me. I hope you find your own way when I’m not with you tonight.” May Jimmy forever rest in peace.

The next tragedy in my life was Mrs. Amanda Burns. I loved her like she was my mom. I had her class second hour, and to be honest, she was the only reason that I stayed at MSA. The Friday before her accident, she told me that she was so proud of me because I was turning in my work and getting my grade up. She would text me when I was right next to her for no reason but to say “hey.” While on Facebook, I received an IM from a friend. The message said, “Mrs. Burns died.” All I could do was break down into tears. The following Monday I wanted to stay strong, but I walked on campus and could not hold the tears back. She really was gone. I can still hear her voice, I can still see her face, I still remember all of our jokes, and I can still feel her love. Mrs. Burns, rest in peace.

These two deaths have affected me the most out of the ten plus deaths I had to experience back to back in the middle of my 10th grade year. I cry every night until I fall asleep. I may seem like I am always happy, but I am just good at hiding it all behind this fake smile. Rest in peace to all who have passed on. This was one of the darkest times of my life.