Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

what if?

If only people knew what its like to lose something that means a lot to you,

One second you could be thinking about them and then there gone, never again to return. Gone forever.
What if there was one thing that you could do to change the fate of that person.
What if you called them earlier, would that have changed what happened, or would it not have made any difference?
Would that person still be there?


Would you not feel so lost, would you feel like wherever they are you want to be? Well if you do, think about the family that you have. Do you want to make them feel the same way that you do?
Do you want them to regret what they did to you for the rest of their lives?
I feel like there was so much that I could have done, but all of that was taken from me because of one mistake
I was going to meet him talk to him but he is gone now, and all I wanted to do was talk.
Talk about all of the things that I missed, all of the things that he missed.
Maybe that’s why I feel like the way I do, maybe that’s why I want to be with him.
Maybe if he was still here I would not have to be like this.
I don’t know what’s wrong, I want to live my life but no one understands.
No one understands that I miss him and I want to be with him, that I want to spend the time that I missed with him, and get all of that lost time back.
I want to know how he feels like now that all he can do is nothing.
I needed him to guide, me to teach me, to make me feel happy. I don’t feel happy anymore. the only think that makes me feel happy is my animals, I love them as much as I loved him.
He loved animals to but I guess I will never know how much.
My friends help me forget what I have lost.
They and my animals make me feel alive, like he isn’t gone, like I will see him again.
I can’t wait for my time to be up, because then I can be with, I can talk with him and feel alive again.
Being very good at hiding your emotions makes you look like a rock that will never be broken. But if they look closer, then you will see that there are little cracks that don’t heal, they throb and pulse like a scar and never go away.
I am scared of life.
I am marked with the things that no one should ever have to deal with.
I am young in looks but very old in spirit and heart.
I have more wisdom then most people my age, but that only makes you stronger, only makes you better.
I loved life but now I look at it like it’s a disease that slowly kills you.
Slowly makes you rot. You don’t fell any of it because of the life that you think that you live.
People that say nothing bothers them are right, but they scar more easily.
They feel the rot of life; they feel themselves dying every day.
They can hide it because they hid it all of there lives. From their friends and family, even their animals don’t know how they feel.
They are lost, forever looking for why it had to happen to them.
They wonder till their last breath.
They will suffer everyday.
No one sees it but the people who have felt the same thing.
the people who have lived with the same thing.
The people who have walked in their shoes on more then one occasion.
The people that they have lost.


If only people never died, if only they all lived forever.
We feel like there is only darkness around us.
Darkness that goes on forever.
The darkness that eats light.
The darkness that eats life, makes you feel like there is nothing.
I want to feel wanted again.
My family doesn’t know what’s happening to me, they don’t know how I feel.
If they did then they would understand, they could help.
Nothing can help me but living for something everyday.
If there is nothing to live for then why do we exist, why do we live?
Do we live to help other people when we can’t even help ourselves?
We feel like there is a space so small around us that we can’t breathe.
And that we are nothing but a part of that darkness.
That we are invisible to everything, that no one sees us because we are not there
If we are invisible to people then we can’t help them.
so what’s the point in living?
We are reminded every day about what we have lost.
What we could have had.
What we should have had.
There is something missing in my life.
And I want to find the thing that will fill the endless void.
What will let me walk over it like nothing was there, like it never existed.
So embrace what you have because you could lose it anytime.
Lose everything.
Live life like every days going to be your last.
As if the last breath that you are going to take will be then end of all the pain, all of the suffering.
All of the darkness.




Join the Discussion


This article has 1 comment. Post your own!

johnnybl said...
Dec. 17, 2010 at 10:45 am:
can someone please comment
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback