Undecided

November 17, 2010
By , Holmdel, NJ
He’s a smart Jewish runner with curly brown hair.
I’m a smart Jewish catcher with wavy brown hair.
I never thought I would like him as much as I do now.
We started out as good friends in our last year of elementary school. We sat at the same table in Art, listening to most of the guys singing "Mysterious Ticking Noise" from Potter Puppet Pals. We talked about our upcoming bar and bat mitzvahs. I finally felt like someone understood my Jewish heritage. It was a nice feeling.
That summer, I missed him more than ever. It was crazy: I never thought I could actually miss a guy that much. But it happened. I lasted the summer, wishing he actually knew how I felt.
Coming into middle school for the first time, I was sad to find that I didn't have any classes with him. I finally saw him at the band meeting, but for the first time, I felt shy, and though I may not have shown it, I was.
Gradually, as the first month or two went on, we got back to being friends again. I made the most of the time I saw him at band and between 5th and 6th periods. We got closer and closer, but I still wanted to go further.
On Valentine's Day, (I purposely picked the day) I told him how I felt via text. He didn't give his opinion until the next day, when I finally had found someone in the vast world that liked me for me: a smart, fun tomboy that didn't really care what people thought of her. I was amazed, ecstatic, and joy-ridden. Finally, something that I had desperately wanted came my way!
We've been together since, but I never know how he feels. He says that he doesn't want kids in school to know in fear of them gossiping over us. Add the fact that we're both still in middle school, and I don't know what to do or think anymore. A lot of time all I see between us are two really good friends. But that's not what I wanted to happen. I told him what I really thought about him so that when he leaves to go to a vocational high school, he wouldn't completely forget me. Now, I fear that might happen, and I don't want to be forgotten. I need to know how he feels; otherwise, I feel like I'm living in a world of my own fantasies. Only, this is a relationship fantasy that keeps spinning into different roads.
Which road do I take?





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Awesome Person13 said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 5:47 pm
I disagree with WaWa29... You should be romantic, but don't come on too strong! Seriously, you don't want to scare them off. Some guys are very romantic, but USUALLY that is not the case. Worry, but don't stress! If you two are right for each other, he'll come around. If not, (which, I know you won't want to hear this, but that may be the case) there will be other guys that will be tripping over themselves just to talk to you! You are an awesome person, people may say life is unfair, but amazing... (more »)
 
softballfreak42 replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Yea u reely shuld rite 4 it! Sign up!
But how do I know if we ARE rite 4 eech othr if he nvr says ANYTHING about it for feer that ppl r gonna gossip bout us? Plus the fact that he wont tell his parents is reely annoyin...
 
Awesome Person13 replied...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Well, that's exactly why people date. So you can FIND OUT if you're right for each other. It doesn't always work though, about 70-80% of American marraiges end in divorce. You can never know if you're right for each other. Personally, if he doesn't want anyone to know, I think that that is not a good sign. The fact that this is partly the reason that you are questioning your relationship with him is reason enough to be at edge with how your relationship is working out. I'm not saying that you sh... (more »)
 
Awesome Person13 replied...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Well! Sorry! I'm almost positive that that's true! I'm not a marriage expert, but I'm a good giver of advice, not to be conceited in the slightest...
 
softballfreak42 replied...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 5:35 pm
NOT XACTLY MAKIN ME FEEL BTTR!!!
 
Awesome Person13 replied...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 8:35 pm
I may not be making you feel better at this moment, but when you think about it later on, it may actually make you feel better! Yes, I know, still not helping, but I'm not saying that NO marriages work out. People have been dating since highschool and are still happily married in their forties. (Yes, I'm using my parents as an example, but still...) once again, DON'T USE MY COMMENTS/HOLD MY COMMENTS AGAINST ME!
 
softballfreak42 replied...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 10:38 am
im just goin 2 ignor u now...
 
WaWa29 said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 5:15 pm
I kinda thought that was what you were going to write about... talk to him! Show him how "romantic" you can be! (I have never seen you like that...)
 
softballfreak42 replied...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:48 pm

so ur tellin me that u wanna see the other side of me?

plus that completely goes against what he wants if he doesn't want anyone 2 no in feer of gossip... if i start acting diffrntly around him but not othr ppl, then theyll definitely know somethings up......

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

 
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