Coming Out

November 5, 2010
By , west covina, CA
I never questioned myself about the fact that I was gay. I knew it since the minute I spoke,
“goo goo gaga.” But, there were times when I did like girls.I really began to notice when I was about thirteen years old. One thing I hate the most in life, is hiding.

I never liked to hide from my true self, and I felt that it was time to be that rainbow loving, Zac Efron? crushing, gay man. But, before I realized to come out, I went through a pretty rough road. I can tell you that I’ve been insulted about being gay since I began my social life.

My family always knew it. I remember putting on my mom’s high heels, and her leggings on my head. I even put on makeup just to make my look complete. My dad always had a problem with it. My mom just thought I was being a kid, and so did my therapist.

Another reason was, I never played sports, I only loved female singers, and well, you get the point. I was pretty hardcore. In school however, I was pretty down low about it. I did act like a girl and not catch myself, and that’s when the insults started attacking. GAY GUY! HOMO! FAGGOT! Yeah, that’s right.

Those were coming from the mouths of first graders. Someone didn’t teach them well. And year after year, I just started to ignore it. I knew who I was, and I didn’t need people to tell me. By the summer of 2009, I decided to really come out clean. I first told my friend, Tatiana, and she knew it. I then told my friend, Christina. She knew it too. Then came Jorge, Andy, Javier, and so on. They all had the same reaction. I wasn’t so surprised because, I make it so obvious. The main thing that I feared was telling my dad. He and my brother would always make fun of my feminine attitude, and that made my self-esteem go low.

Unfortunately, my dad found out when I was talking to a boy I liked on Myspace. He took it well, and supported me all the way. My mom was the same as well. I guess you could say that everyone just accepted and didn’t mind.

However, there were the haters and assholes that were ready to battle with me. I’m a very brave person, and if someone insults my community, I speak up about it. There was this one time in particular when I made it clear.

In eighth grade, every language arts class had to write an original poem about anything that bothered them, or that just came from the heart. I decided; why not write about the unfair treatments towards the Gay Community? So, I did. My poem was called, “Love in the World.” In the poem, I talk about the insults I hear when I’m around those near, and how gay people are just the same as straight people. I also discuss that, we need to learn to tolerate people’s differences and to not judge by appearance, and first impression. My inspiration for the poem was, Harvey Milk, Matthew Shepherd, and the Prop 8 madness.

I got to read the poem in front of the class, and everyone was just shocked that I had to courage to say something like that in public. Then, the class got to vote for the two students to go to the Poetry Slam. The Poetry Slam was a night of poetry readings and songs.

It is presented to a full audience from the public, and judged by some of the faculty from the school. I was voted to go to the competition, and read my infamous poem. That night, I was extremely nervous. I had never done anything like this. But, I had to do this for my people, and let them be heard through my voice. By the time I got on stage, I took five deep breaths. I looked out into the audience, and said the poem,

The painful insults I hear
When I'm around those near
To hear them say, "Your So Gay!"
Do you hear what you say?

We are all humans created the same
Why do we have to make it a game?
Yeah, we may have different sexualities, Straight, Lesbian, Gay & Bi.
The way I walk, talk, and dress may not be like you. Does that mean anything???

We were put on this land to love
But all we do is push, and shove
We need to accept one another
As sister and brother

So I say once again,
To hear you say, "Your So Gay!"
I don't care what you say
Get to know me the right way

After I finished, there was a five second pause, and then a huge applause came on. The judges were shocked that I wrote a poem about that subject. After the competition was over, I was walking outside with Jorge. My friend, Wyatt caught me before I left, and asked for a word. I went with him, and got to meet his aunt who is a Lesbian. These were her exact words,

“Coming from a Lesbian woman, I admire your courage to go up there and let us be heard. I thank you so much for doing this. I would have never had the guts to go up there and say something like that. Thank you, Michael.

I felt so accomplished, and I really felt like I did something good. I hugged her and left. As you see, I am not afraid to show who I am. I know that in the future there will always be some people, who will say stuff, but I know who I am, and I’ll never forget it. Being gay is one of the most wonderful things to me.

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Docgreen said...
Jun. 6, 2015 at 10:45 pm
hey i support you all the way bro!
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