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November 10, 2010
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Sitting and waiting. Watching and waiting. Sitting and watching and waiting for the sleepy sun to come up over the mountains and for the drowsy day to begin. I didn’t know today was going to be my big day; my “big break”. The day that I tried to escape. Every thing was ready. But I wasn’t going to do it just yet. I had to wait, wait for the right moment. The moment when the stars would align and everything would fall into place. That moment. That’s when I will go. But for now, I will act as if it is a normal weekend. I will play and play like everything is how it should be- even though its not. And when the time comes, you won’t see me or hear from me again.
There’s a movie on TV. It looks like a grown-up movie I’m not supposed to watch. But mom is outside and I am in, so I will watch it anyway. The images are dancing on the screen and their words are slurred. I don’t understand what is happening. Then I see it. Everything becomes clearer, and I can understand. There is someone on the TV that looks like me. Getting together their things and leaving. Just like I’m going to do.
They said something. Something memorable. And there is someone crying. I can’t tell who, but I have to remember that line.
Lunch, bologna and cheese. Dinner, macaroni and ham steak. But the time has come. I go to my room and fill a bandana with the basic necessities: Barbie doll, check. Blanky, check. Plastic spending money, check. As I tied the red bandanna to a stick, I thought about my journey ahead, and what it was going to be like living all alone and having to fend for myself. But I can take it. I’m a big girl now. I walk out into the living room, ready to break my mother’s heart.
Then, it’s my time. My big part; my big line. “What are you doing?”, she asks. “Well,” I begin, “There just isn’t enough room here for the two of us.” There. I said it. Now I have to make my exit; show her that I mean business. I get as far as the porch when she stops me. It’s a cool night and in the distance, I hear a coyote, wailing at the moon. “Wait,” she says, “Look up in the sky.” When I do, I see a shooting star drift across the night sky. It isn’t uncommon to see a shooting star, but it still amazed me. “Come inside. We’ll talk about it.” With hesitation, I decided that I should stay. My mom needed me. I don’t know why seeing a shooting star changed my mind, but it did. Running away could wait for another day.

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