I saw the sparks from a hundred feet away, glowing against the cold October air. As I walked into the outdoor theater, I dived into every emotion I was feeling, the things I had been hiding from just moments ago. I sat in the first row of seats, watching the fire consume the wood. I wanted to pretend that you weren't here. I was hurt. I felt abandoned, and undeserving. As I heard the leaves crunch behind me, I told you this. You sat next to me, but I refused to look at you for fear of appearing weak. We didn't speak for minutes, minutes that seemed like hours. Soflty you said "Look at me." I looked up, waiting for the words I wanted to hear but doubted I ever would. I was just one person. How could you ever love me? You told me to watch the stars, and I did. You told to keep an open mind and a clear head, so I did. You said "Every star is one person in the world I know, have known or will know that I love." You told me to look at the full moon, so I did. "It shines brighter than any star." you said. I stared at the moon, pondering the possibilities of what you could mean. Finally I understood. I had to give up, just this once. I had to surrender to the fact that I can't control everything. So I sat, and I thought, and as I thought, the world was silent, except for a small voice, whispering "You are mine."
October 22, 2010