Am I Being Too Kind?

October 25, 2010
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Dr. R’s Blog October 17th 2010

Posted on Sat Oct 16, 2010 5:42 pm


Dear Dr. R




In life as human being, I endeavor to be considerate and helpful towards everyone including: friends, family, etc. But it seems that I can never find myself to say no when people ask too much of me or when I’m busy. For some reason I can’t turn people down whenever they ask something of me. Yesterday I was mowing my lawn and after I was finished my elderly neighbor whose lawn I normally mow asked me to do hers. She could obviously see that I was sweating and exhausted but still begged if I could do hers. She hired people to mow her lawn once a month and they should come tomorrow morning but I ended up doing it for her anyways. Am I being too kind?

Posted by Dr. R on Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:42 pm


Every day, being the human beings that we are perform some act of kindness towards others whether it is our friends, co-workers or members of our household. Sometimes you can’t help but to ask yourself “Why am I so kind?” I understand that it is important to show compassion and concern but come on, there has to some set boundaries for how nice you have to be to others. In our daily lives, we go to school and work where much is demanded of us but some people feel the need to get more out of us than what is really needed. These people may ask you to perform some sort of task thinking to themselves “Gee this sucker did this thing for me when they obviously didn’t have to so I just going to depend on them to do things that I can probably do myself. This is exactly where your desire to be kind and caring gets the better of you and works to the advantage of others who would stop at nothing to make use of it.


It would only seem right of us to help people whenever they need something from us whether it is our assistance in completing a task or our advice in general. We can sometimes tend to go out of our way to help people even if it wasn’t unnecessary such as when a friend asks you for a ride to the train station and you end up driving them home anyways. People who actually do this probably don’t mind wasting their money because driving people around like that costs gas which if they don’t know is quite expensive these days. Kind gestures like these can lead people into believing that they can always be dependent on us whenever they want. These people could be your friends, workmates or even your own family members who take advantage of your consideration and kindness. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping people out when they need it but there is a difference when that person continually asks you for favors expecting you to carry through for them every time. People who act in this manner can be described as being self-centered jerks that can’t do things for themselves.


A typical morning for a high school student is just the basic getting up and going to school. At school, much is expected of you but surprisingly it is mostly by your fellow peers and friends more than it is your teachers. Your friends will ask you for a multitude of favors ranging from completing their homework for them because they’re too busy (like you aren’t) to borrowing money. Their your friends so you feel it is ok to do these things for them but if they’re really your friends why are you doing all the work while they’re on Facebook. For example, Louis is friends with Anthony and is very incline to depend on Anthony almost all the time. Anthony pays for Louis every time they go out to eat or whenever they happen to be somewhere that has food. Louis by now probably owes Anthony over a hundred dollars for all the purchased meals and still has not paid it up; if I were Anthony I would probably have stopped speaking to Louis by now. Louis doesn’t stop with just food; Anthony has at least done his homework seven or eight times for him even when Anthony had his own work to complete. Anthony feels that if he doesn’t help Louis out then he is not a good friend. People like Louis are not very good friends for they are lazy, selfish and completely useless to everyone. If Louis is Anthony’s friend then he will stop depending on Anthony so much for money and get himself a job!



Often today, we see too many people being overly reliant on others. In schools, friends ask other classmates to do homework for them, take notes or give them help on a test. No one wants to see their friend fail but we cannot keep being nice or they will never change. We can already see that they cannot get by on their own; they always need your help with “this or that”. There is some sort of mechanism or dysfunction in our brains that make us to feel oblige to help them even though we are annoyed by their constant cries for help. We need to realize that there is such a thing as being “too kind or nice” especially when it comes to friends and family as they are the ones who you will feel most compelled to help no matter how much they annoy you with their constant need of your help. I feel your need to want to help the people around you but eventually you need to show that you have some balls and are a real man that will not be taken advantage of.





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