Through My Eyes

October 15, 2010
“The weather will be bad and I might come home early if it gets worse,” his voice bellowed in an easy tone. Those were my father’s last words to us as he walked into the merciless snowstorm. Our apartment was small, but warm and filled with smiles and love. Looking out the living room window was one of my favorite things to do. The trees were bare, but wrapped in white as if they were in bath robes. The sky looked heavenly as little white angels fell from up above. The truth is, looks are deceiving. It was beautiful outside, but very dangerous. I never thought this would be the last time I would see his glowing face.

“Daddy, please stay and play with us,” I pleaded as he pulled my brother and I off his back. “I’m sorry, boys, but daddy has to go to work now. We can play later, ok?” He smiled his loving smile and gave me a big hug. I buried my face in his chest and hugged him as if to let him know I love him and couldn’t wait to see him again. I took a deep breath and realized his scent. It was an amazing smell. A smell that you would imagine only exists in heaven. I let go of him and as he rose to his feet, I noticed his immense brown eyes. They were very assuring. I was positive he was coming back. Next to his right eye was nature’s polka dot. A little black mole sat next to his eye which I never took note of.

He stood tall, about 5’10 and carried himself as a gentleman. There was certain swag in his step as he walked away with confidence. Wanting to be just like him, I walked behind him and tried hard to imitate him. I thought he was coolest guy in the world. He threw on his huge black winter jacket over his white collared shirt. His pants were a deep navy blue, almost black, like the night sky. I almost got lost in my own world as I grabbed one of his legs. The darkness of his pants was suddenly my vision. I felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit. While falling, I tried to scream to him, but no sound came out my mouth. Reality hit me and I found myself latched onto his leg with my head lying next to his blue and white high top Nike sneakers. Like a feather, he picked me up with no struggle and gave me a warm kiss on my chubby cheeks. He reached for his keys and left out the beat up apartment door. As he walked down the stairs, his keys jingled. The sound seemed to slow down and echo in my ears. “Bye daddy,” I whispered.

Hours went by and my dad was not home. Newsflash: A white Nissan Sentra was involved in an accident on I-84 in Manchester, CT. The driver of the Nissan Sentra was killed instantly while the other driver walked away a little shaken up. Instantly, my older brother yelled, “That’s daddy’s car!” His eyes opened wide which resembled my father’s. “No baby, a lot of people have the same car,” my mother told him confidently. She was beautiful, but most of all, she was happy. Mom loved us dearly, and had a special love connection with my father. She looked at the TV one more time and brushed her long, thick hair to the side. Her face turned from her normal caramel complexion, to a cherry reddish complexion, and back to her normal complexion as if she was nervous for a second. She turned away and continued cooking. I know she tried to hide it, but I saw fear swimming in her eyes.

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! The phone screamed four times before my mother picked it up hesitantly. I watched her pearly eyes turn from relaxed, to shocked, to extremely sad. Tears busted their way out of her eyes while the reddish color flowed back to her face. She hung up the phone and asked God why he had to take my father from her. That is when my brother realized he was gone. Daddy promised he would be back, but we would never see him again. My brother’s eyes swelled up with tears and we both joined my mother in the mourning of my father. It took me a while to understand he was really gone.

It was two weeks after the burial, and I was still not eating. I went from a happy, well fed child to a sad, skinny child. My belly went from fat to flat, and my only emotion was sadness. At times, I would sit by the door and wait to hear the slow, echoing sound of my father’s keys jingling. I never heard it again. I looked out the window and time flew by in front of my eyes. The trees went from bare, to little red buds growing on them, to full green leaves swaying in the wind. Kids played in the snow, went to school, and before I knew it, school was out. Life didn’t hesitate to proceed. It was like he was never even on Earth.

I finally decided to move away from the window. It was dirty anyway. I went in the bathroom and threw water on my face. It was warm and reminded me of my father’s hug and kiss. Over and over again, I passed the warm water on my face then I looked up. What I saw almost stopped my heart. I swear I saw my father’s face. My eyes were identical to my father’s. They were big, brown, and assuring. A mole came out of nowhere next to my right eye. While leaning in, I realized that he was still alive. My father was living through me. I am a splitting image of him. This new discovery gave me a new look on life. Once again, I was happy and the sound of death was nowhere to be heard.

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