I wish it was me and not him, there on the verge of deat, lying in the hospital in pain. It shold be me, i really should be me i mean its all my fault. It hurts so bad i just want to be held in someone's arms to feel safe and happy. I just wish i could leave this town and start over, or just stay in my nut shell forever. I dont talk to anyone anymore at least not as much as i use to. I dont text, talk on the computer, at home, or at school. With this going on with my boyfriend it makes me want my dad, I can remember the good times with him and I. It makes me miss my big brother and how we always did stuff together. Its all coming together again at one time I hate this pain that I am feeling my boyfriend should not be in the hospital, my dad I can never see, and my brother wont talk to me. All I really want now is my boyfriend not in the hospital at all it should be me not him...