Choose Your Pick

October 10, 2010
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I have to stay this mess I'm in started way back. Far from when I met Jesse. When I met David. He was charming and cute but, he had is misleading eyes on my best friend Jackie. She went gaga over boys. She had at least seven ex-boyfriends bye then. It was summer 07, and I haven't been in love or had or boyfriend. I thought I could get lucky with David. Jackie and David were really good friends then BAM! They were dating. Jackie, let me explain, can say one thing and do the opposite and doesn't like being told she's wrong or what to do. David was loud and obnoxious like any other boy. They were on and off for about 5 mouths. Then Jackie met Anthony. I don't mean to bring more people into this long confusing story but it's life, my life. Back to Anthony. She met this tall, black haired, whip at church. I never met him but Jackie "says" he's not like other guys. David does not like other guys being around Jackie, let alone talking to and seeing a lot. Jackie is very flirty and loves attention from guys. Jackie told me that she "wrestled with Anthony in the dark" and texts him everyday. She also told me that she didn't really didn't like Anthony anymore oops, she said, I mean David. So the next day she told all the girls that she was breaking up with David. I wasn't good friends with David. I barley spoken two words to him but now was my chance he was single I was single it would be perfect. I was imaging in my head talking to him and flirting with him. So before we all went to get our backpacks to pack up that day Jackie looked at me,” I’m gonna get my stuff", I said. Jackie's expression I don't really remember but I was trying to hold back my smile. All this time she had the guy. Now I was going to have a chance at someone I watched love my friend. That was very hard. It was hard to be happy for her when she told me about their scandalous make out scenes in the bell tower at school. Or the hugs she'd get when they said their goodbyes. Those would be mine to cherish soon. I wanted it so bad that I was sad and depressed for most of that school year. I hardly focused on school, but I did better than Jackie and David. I was the star student because I didn't have someone to make lovey faces at. But I wanted someone. Jackie was my friend, I know, but we never had sleepovers and did our nails and talked about boys we like or listen to the latest pop song. We explored storm tunnels, rolled down grassy hills, gave our self-names like "ninja bunny and samurai squirrel." We had our good times but you're wondering shouldn't friends come first? They should. She was two-faced. She ditched me at the pool to hang with her "older" friends. She talked bad behind my back with her other friends. So now until I get respect from her I'm not giving it to her. Anyway, when I went to get my backpack, which I walked very slowly to, I thought what was happening in the room. David was old news and Anthony was her new boyfriend. If she never met Anthony maybe they would've stayed together? Who knows? Jackie later told me the whole story:
"David", Jackie said,” I’m sorry, but can we just be friends?"
His whole freckled pale face rushed a pink hue.
"What?” he managed to say. “Are you breaking up with me?" oh that famous line.
"This is about Anthony?” he peeped with anger.
Jackie took her stuff and left the room leaving David alone to think it through.
I had already left and wanted to say good-bye to Jackie but I didn't want to disturb anything. The next day I planned to try David out and maybe hint if he liked me. Oh no, I was wrong. He was mad as hell at Jackie in every possible moment he would make a rude remark on how ugly or annoying she is. When the teacher would tell him to knock it off he would smirk and murmur something like "well she did worse". He was wearing all black and was sure mad and angry at the world and his world was Jackie. A couple weeks later when I thought things were better, I asked Jackie if David was better since the break up. She said not really. So I backed off. I wondered, in my room lying on my bed, if this is going to happen when David and I break up. I know it will happen. Will David or I get depressed as he is? Will we stay friends? All these thoughts came in my head. Over the next month things turned for the worst. Jackie talked about Anthony all the time. She talked about seeing him and sleeping with him on his trampoline. David just became more and more angry with her and with everyone. His grades went down and mine went up. I wanted to tell David “you can talk to me.” But I was afraid he wouldn’t open up to me or be mad at me or just hate me. The next day at school before classes started Jackie told our friends Hannah and Sara to check his wrist. He was wearing a long sleeved black Nike hoodie. Hannah grabbed his arm. He pulled back. “What the hell” he snapped. Jackie grabbed his hand and said “David, it’s for the best, I need to know you’re ok.” She pulled up the sleeve away so no one could see. She later told me he had cuts on his wrists. I was crushed. I felt so helpless. What was next? Then a week later she found something in his backpack. Jackie confronted David about this. They were drugs. Pills. What was he planning? Jackie was so mad at him. He was losing his mind. He needed help. By then Jackie told his mom and she confronted David. David hated it. He was on the edge. We all knew it. My other friend, Gabi, talked to him. She didn’t like him. But, she was concerned. By March he was the same David I remembered meeting. He stopped cutting. I then one day slipped to Gabi that I liked David. The next week she told him. I was so mad at her. She told him every thing I said about him. Around three days later he asked me if this was true. I tried to play hard to get and told him “maybe.” At first I thought he was disgusted at me for liking him. Then the next I told him it was all true. He had a huge smile on his face. “Good, because I was afraid you would say no and turn me down.” Once he said that I wondered how long he liked me? He was afraid I would turn him down? Ha talk about vice versa. So, at lunch break he asked me will you go out with be? I said yes. But, under two conditions, 1. We don’t tell our parents 2. We don’t tell Jackie.

A lot of things have changed since that school year. Like, my parents getting a divorce. My mom leaving. Like when Jackie found out we were dating. Oh, I thought she was going to be mad but she said awww and I knew she was mad at David and me for not letting her in on the little secret. Around that same time before she knew about us she had been very flirty with David and David returned it. He acted like I was just a random girl he picked up that didn’t matter. I never was very flirty with him. I liked him. But he loved to charm girls with his dark powers of love. Jackie by then broke up with Anthony and didn’t see him anymore. She broke his heart like she did to David. Jackie then admitted to David that she liked him. I asked Jackie if she liked anyone she said, ”guys are douches right now.” Then I realized she lied to me again. And I should have not trusted her from then on, but I didn’t. So that summer David and I saw each other very very rarely we missed each other so much. Then the next school year Jackie wasn’t there. She went to a different school. I was very glad. She didn’t say goodbye and I thought she was still mad at me. I did the lovey faces at David and we were in love. I was so happy then. Then a month later we started fighted again. A week later he told me we should break up. I told him we should. The next months I’m not really sure what happened with David and Jackie. I heard rumors that they made out a lot and hugged. To this day I’m not sure if that’s true. Our school went on a camping trip. David, Gabi, and I went on a walk in the woods. We talked and were very happy then. We held hands too. Then one night in David’s tent we kissed. It was so magical. He asked me if he could kiss me. I told him no then I said yes. He held me in his arms and kissed me. My first kiss. Gabi then fell out of the tent. She looked up and saw us kissing and rolled her eyes. “Come on,” she told me. I said goodbye to David and went to my tent. The next day we walked the trails again and held hands. We then kissed in front of this bright shining lake. We loved that camping trip so much. During the months of not going out I heard through a friend that Jackie told her to tell me that I didn’t have a chance with David. She was the one to talk. I was the one that broke up with David not him. I confronted her about this online and she told me that she didn’t mean it. Well then what did she mean? Then the months passed we had our ups and downs. Then when March came around he asked me out again. We have been going out since. This summer of 2010 we haven’t seen each other. We talked online and sent emails. I called him too. But school starts soon and I’m just wondering what will happen next? Not much has really happened between us. I saw Jackie once too. She was at this block party. We talked a little bit but it was extremely awkward. She had changed. Her brown stringy hair was longer. Her dark brown eyes were outlined by black eyeliner. She gained some weight too. And was wearing a very tight shirt. She was with a group of friends I’d seen before and kind of met. David told me she had two boyfriends since him. One that felt her up and another that hung with the druggies. He also told me guys now thought she was vulnerable and just wanted to get in her pants. And she let them. I also heard has been offered to have sex but she declined. She stayed close to where we were sitting. Just to get Jackie annoyed David did the move and put his arm around me. Jackie looked so annoyed and jealous that could have been her. But she had a boyfriend. The druggie. I could tell she wasn’t really happy. But she didn’t let it show much. Anyway, after that David also admitted to me that Jackie asked for a hug once. And David told her no. Jackie smirked and her friends said, is because of that bitch you’re dating. I was so mad at her. What did she tell her friends about me? Did she tell them I was a slut or something? I was mad and confused at that. I talked about many things with Jackie and when I strictly told her not to tell she told. So I just don’t talk to her anymore. Also I didn’t really explain how Jackie was mean to Gabi. For instance, when Jackie and I were going to the creek, and Gabi said oh that sounds fun, Jackie told her who invited you? She was just very mean. I learned now not to trust her. I haven’t talked to her for a while now and I’m glad. I still wonder if David likes her. Well this summer I also met someone else. Jesse.

My dad was meeting a new woman. Elaine. I thought she was nice too nice. She had four kids. David, 15,Jesse, 13Eden, 11, Aaron, 9. I met Eden first; she was nice to talk to. Then a couple days later I met David, Jesse, and Aaron. Aaron was very annoying. Jesse was average looking and so was David at first I didn’t talk to them much. Then when they came over a couple days later I started to talk to them. David was very nice and held doors for me and laughed at my jokes. Jesse was very funny. Then we made a bonfire and sat around it. Eden and I sat next to each other. Then David came and sat between us. We looked at the stars. We were laughing and joking around it was the greatest. We then came inside and David said Jesse turned 14 soon. I told him 6 months until my birthday. He said I looked 15 or 16. I laughed and told him I was 13. He said well you sure don’t look it. He then went to the bathroom leaving his hat he always wore. I took it a put it on. I’m cool like that! I said everyone laughed. He came back and said where’s my hat? By then I hid it behind the couch. Jazmine, he asked? Why do you blame me, I retorted? He looked behind the couch and laughed. The rest of the night was bliss. We joked and laughed. David sat next to me the whole time. He looked 15 or 16. He had dark brown flipped hair. He always wore a black hat. He was so cool. I enjoyed spending time with him. I completely forgot about David., the one at school. Remember him? When they left I said good-bye David waited until everyone left and said good-bye I said see ya later. I was so happy. Throughout the summer they came over a lot. I got to know them all and still see them a lot now. Eden gets super annoying. Jesse, all my friends love him. And David and I didn’t really take it from there. One night when they came over David was on his laptop the whole time! Jesse and Eden and Aaron slept over. Jesse was so funny! We feel asleep at 2:00. We were very tired in the morning but it was totally worth it.

You see my problem. I like all these guys that I shouldn’t like. Guys always look at my up and down and say hi or call me cute. But I just really don’t know. I’ll just see what Destiny has in store for me.

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