My First Extended Metaphor

September 25, 2010
By Anonymous

I was just outside in my backyard cutting the grass as I approached the area near our “vegetable garden”. This is the second or third year that I motivated with my mom to plant one, just a small side project. At the start of summer, I dug out the sand from under the club house and put down fresh soil and planted a few seeds not knowing what to expect.

I was just in school in my chemistry classroom solving a reaction-prediction problem as I feel the eyes of two guys on my back. This is the second or third time since 8th grade that I've had a subconscious motivation for a relationship, just a small side priority in my high school life. During summer band rehearsals, I smiled and shared stories, becoming closer and not knowing what to expect.

The garden grew green and a few signs of plants started to emerge towards the end of summer. An old familiar one, the cucumber had been a consistent favorite veggie and looked promising. The cherry peppers were a surprise because when I planted the seeds I thought that I was planting cherry tomatoes. When they bloomed, I picked one but never had the courage to try it for it being so new and different. Also, I had a particular taste for cucumbers.

My feelings grew and signs that I may “like-like” someone emerged towards the end of summer. An old familiar one, the drummer had been a “more than best friend” in 8th grade, a jerk in 9th grade, but started to look promising in 10th grade and summer. Feelings for him started sprouting up again. The clarinetist was a surprise for in 8th and 9th grade he had been quite quiet. I had conversations with him in 10th grade and summer and he became more outgoing, and so did my feelings for him. But they were not familiar as the feelings for the drummer.

Now it is fall and we have taken our potted flowers down. There are no more flowers to water so I completely forgot about the garden. Today when I looked at two browning plants and the dry soil, I was instantly full of disappointment and doubt. The once flourishing cucumber and red cherry peppers are starting to look brown and appear to have stopped growing. The cucumbers look like they've stopped midway and the cherry peppers are frozen green.

Now I see them everyday in class but I am scared of commitment. As I thought about both, my heart felt disappointment and my head felt doubt. The once entertaining encounters with them have become awkward. The drummer seems ready to give up and the clarinetist is frozen with uncertainty.

To spark growth of the garden I can water and wait. By the end of the season, I may have a basket full of veggies to enjoy. I could have the cucumbers and try the peppers too. I may as likely just have some brown plants and will have to try again next year. There is always risk and uncertainty.
To revive the relationships, I could consider the commitment of sharing my feelings. By the end of the semester I could have a relationship full of special moments to enjoy. But I couldn't be a girl who enjoys the drummer and tries the clarinetist too. I may just as likely have some awkward situations and have to try again next time I find these feelings? There is always risk and uncertainty.


The author's comments:
Saturdays are a break from school and homework. I wrote this piece this Saturday morning after eating half a loaf of banana bread,cutting the grass, and thinking about potential relationships; the thoughts I usually push aside during the school weeks.
This is the first time I've submitted work to Teenink. We recently learned about extended metaphors in AP Lang and I think this one is pretty good, but let me know what you think!
If anyone reads this and has any advice about vegetable gardens or boys, just comment.

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This article has 5 comments.


A.J.v12 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 8:30 pm
A.J.v12 BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Great metaphor! I wasn't sure at first what it was about, but as I kept reading it all made sense. I love how you compared the two band players to your vegetable garden.

on Oct. 3 2010 at 9:16 pm
TryingToBeNaturallyMe, Allen Park, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Thank you for your comment! :) I'm very happy to have some feedback. Could you explain what you meant by let the metaphor and comparison flow into one another? Should I do it sentence by sentence or should I not make the jump back and forth like that?

on Oct. 3 2010 at 7:07 pm
NarcoticGlamour BRONZE, Manchester, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Goals are dreams with deadlines."
"Life may not be a party, but as long as we're here, we might as well dance."
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." -Edgar Allan Poe
"The sleep of reason produces monsters."-Fransisco De Goya

I liked this very much. I totally understood what you were doing and could follow along, but I had the feeling it was alittle choppy. just a little constructive criticism, when you write another one, let the metaphor and the comparison flow into one another. Dont hop back and forth from one to the other. But It was really good all in all. Keep up the good work! :)

theSunisback said...
on Oct. 3 2010 at 9:52 am
Oh my goodness. I love this, Anonymous. :D You are a fantastic writer, and what you write is real. And I love it. Keep writing! :D

Standbyme3 said...
on Sep. 30 2010 at 5:02 pm
Super creative. I loved it, sincerely.  Personally i'm not a fan of cucumbers at the moment. they're okay to have a light conversation with but they're a bit too negative and need to get themselves together.  Peppers are quiet but funny. I think they're better then cucumbers but are not quite ready for a relationship themselves. But that's just how i view them.  You eat them more often then me so you know a little more.


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