I Guess I'll Keep Pretending

September 1, 2010
By , Hampton, GA
I like to pretend that things don’t hurt me
I like to pretend that I don’t care
I pretend that I don’t cry myself to sleep
I also pretend that I’m invisible

I spend my time trying not to worry what others think
I spend all my waking hours trying to pretend that I don’t care that people don’t see me
I try so hard to seem nonchalant
I try so hard to pretend that I’m fine

I put on a happy façade that fools most
I pretend that when people say they don’t like me, it doesn’t hurt
I pretend that they are beyond my thoughts
But they always linger in the back of my head

I like to tell people that I could care less what they think
My favorite saying is that I don’t give a monkeys @$$
It’s not a true statement though
Every little thing I hear is like a giant blow to my head
Everyone keeps swinging to try and hurt me but each time I hold my head high
Pretending that I don’t care

I care!
I care!
That’s what I really want to shout, but I don’t
Instead I sit pretending I don’t care
I sit watching as people keep hurting me
I watch as people try to bring me to their level
Wanting me to snap

Trust me
You don’t want to see me snap
I will hurt myself
I will hurt others
If I ever snap
You don’t want to be there

I just wish people could understand how much I care
I’m not stuck up
I don’t try to cause problems
I’m sorry that I’m smarter than you want me to be
I’m sorry that you don’t like the way I walk
I’m sorry for everything
If I could change to please everyone, I would
Everyone is swinging their fists, trying to hurt me
But I’ll continue to pretend that I don’t care
I’ll just pretend

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