So Suddenly

At first it was weird. Being single didn't feel liberating or fun or anything. It felt simply lonely. I felt like I had no one. Now I know that was just the pain speaking. That was losing someone you were with for a year. Leaving because you were forced to instead of choosing it. Being cheated on.

Then, out of the blue, I just felt better. I realized that I was happier now. I realized I hadnt cried myself to sleep lately. That was new. Why wasn't I crying anymore? I guess there was just nothing to cry about. That relationship was disfunctional. It had needed to be over.

We broke up right before school got out. I expected summer to suck. That was the best summer I ever had. I realized how much I had changed in that relationship. I realized I was barely myself anymore. I was just a ghost of the amazing girl I had been before. I had become the sad girl and that wasn't me.

I reclaimed myslef. I learned so much that being single isn't being alone. Being single is being free. It's that time where you learn who you truly are without anyone else distorting the picture. You get to just be you. You can do whatever you want, talk to whoever, go wherever. It's better. I'm better. I know who I am now. I'm no longer the ghost; the sad girl. I am me. The happy girl I was before I ever met him.





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laraelizabeth This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 5:44 pm
This is great; so many people can relate to it. I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for writing this.
 
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